Samuel
Corum/Sipa/Bloomberg
via
Getty
Images
Back
in
2024,
during
Donald
Trump’s
New
York
civil
fraud
trial,
Trump’s
legal
team
—
spearheaded
by
former
Foley
&
Lardner
partner
Chris
Kise
—
sent
a
number
of
emails
to
the
judge
asking
for
the
unusual
accommodation
that
Trump
be
allowed
to
deliver
remarks
as
part
of
his
closing
argument.
And
when
you
read
through
those
emails,
you
can
sort
of
pinpoint
a
moment
where
it
seemed
as
though
the
man
with
an
actual
law
degree
stopped
drafting
the
correspondence
and
turned
it
over
to
a
rapidly
deteriorating
dementia
patient.
It
was
right
around
the
point
where
the
emails
stopped
using
phrases
like
“fraught
with
ambiguities”
and
started
demanding
that
Trump
be
allowed
“to
speak
about
the
things
that
must
be
spoken
about.”
We
bring
up
this
episode,
because
yesterday,
the
Department
of
Justice
filed
a
Rule
62.1
motion
asking
Judge
Richard
Leon
for
an
indicative
ruling
that
he’ll
dissolve
his
preliminary
injunction
stalling
the
White
House
ballroom
project.
While
signed
by
Associate
Attorney
General
Stanley
Woodward
and
featuring
the
Keystone
Kops
signature
block
of
Acting
Attorney
General
Todd
Blanche
and
Principal
Associate
Attorney
General
Trent
McCotter,
it’s
almost
impossible
to
believe
anyone
licensed
to
practice
law
wrote
this
document.
It
arrives
hot
on
the
heels
of
Assistant
Attorney
General
Brett
Shumante’s
opportunistic
letter
demanding
the
National
Trust
for
Historic
Preservation,
the
plaintiff
in
the
ballroom
case,
voluntarily
drop
the
suit
it’s
winning
in
light
of
the
failed
attack
on
the
White
House
Correspondents’
Dinner.
The
Trust
did
not
oblige.
Bringing
us
to
this
filing.
“It’s
not
the
most
pressing
crisis
this
country
faces
but
I
cannot
get
over
the
fact
that
a
qualification
for
being
a
top
lawyer
at
the
DOJ
now
is
apparently
being
functionally
illiterate,”
Jay
Willis
of
Balls
&
Strikes
remarked.
“This
shit
reads
like
a
seventh
grader
wrote
it.
What
are
we
doing
here
man.”
Given
that
it’s
not
the
most
pressing
crisis,
but
it
is
incredibly
embarrassing,
this
is
exactly
what
we
at
Above
the
Law
stand
ready
to
break
down.
And
any
illusion
that
Trump
didn’t
compose
broad
swaths
of
this
motion
is
dispelled
right
off
the
bat:
“The
National
Trust
for
Historic
Preservation”
is
a
beautiful
name,
but
even
their
name
is
FAKE
because
when
they
add
the
words
“in
the
United
States”
to
the
National
Trust
for
Historic
Preservation,
it
makes
it
sound
like
a
Governmental
Agency,
which
it
is
not.
Sentence
one!
Sentence
one
of
a
federal
court
filing
signed
by
the
Department
of
Justice
triumvirate
of
torpidity
includes
a
wholly
unnecessary
“beautiful”
and
an
all
caps
“FAKE,”
rising
to
a
crescendo
circling
a
syntactic
cul-de-sac
where
the
writer
loses
track
of
the
antecedent.
Did
Todd
Blanche
learn
this
expert
wordsmithing
at
Cadwalader?
If
we
must
quibble
with
Willis,
he
has
an
unduly
dim
view
of
seventh
graders.
Indeed,
we’ve
scientifically
clocked
Trump’s
output
at
a
fourth-grade
reading
level.
In
fact,
the
United
States
refused
to
continue
funding
it
in
2005
because
they
strongly
disagreed
with
their
mission
and
objectives.
It.
The
United
States
is
an
“it.”
I
know
these
people
don’t
understand
pronouns,
but
this
is
ridiculous.
In
addition
to
being
grammatically
accurate,
using
the
proper
pronoun
here
would
avoid
the
confusion
of
starting
the
next
sentence
with
“they”
shifting
without
any
marker
to
the
Trust.
For
the
record,
the
Trust
should
also
be
an
“it.”
They
are
very
bad
for
our
Country.
They
stop
many
projects
that
are
worthy,
and
hurt
many
others.
In
this
case,
they
are
trying
to
stop
one
that
is
vital
to
our
National
Security,
and
the
Safety
of
all
Presidents
of
the
United
States,
both
current
and
future,
their
families,
staff,
and
Cabinet
members.
Random
and
incorrect
capitalization?
BY
GOD
THAT’S
DONALD
TRUMP’S
MUSIC!
But
this
did
not
deter
them
because
they
suffer
from
Trump
Derangement
Syndrome,
commonly
referred
to
as
TDS,
as
noted
by
Democrat
Senator
John
Fetterman,
of
Pennsylvania,
and
are
represented
by
the
lawyer
for
Barack
Hussein
Obama,
Gregory
Craig.
Friends,
this
is
still
the
first
page.
Even
if
you’re
compromising
your
professional
credibility
as
lawyers
to
spit
out
the
nonsense
the
client
dictates,
at
least
write
“Trump
Derangement
Syndrome
(‘TDS’).”
Have
some
self-respect.
Fetterman
makes
a
surprise
cameo
as
the
man
who
routinely
appears
on
cable
news
to
declare
that
he
suffered
severe
brain
injury
and
it
made
him
conservative
—
and
somehow
Republicans
fail
to
see
how
that
might
look
bad
for
them.
And,
of
course,
Barack
Hussein
Obama
—
no
“president,”
yes
“Hussein”
—
joins
the
dramatis
personae
because
everything
is
about
Barack
Obama
with
these
yahoos.
The
lower
section
of
the
building
does
not
work
without
the
upper
section
and,
likewise,
the
upper
section
of
the
building
does
not
work
without
the
lower.
It
is
all
one
highly
integrated
unit!
As
an
example,
one
venting
system,
one
electrical
system,
one
plumbing
system,
one
security
system,
one
air
conditioning
and
heating
system,
one
elevator
connector
and,
very
importantly,
one
structural
steel
and
enforced
concrete
system
—
and
more.
Even
the
bullet
proof
windows
and
glass,
and
the
heavy
steel,
drone
proof
roof,
protect
what
is
below.
And
a
thermal
exhaust
port
no
more
than
two
meters
wide.
Pivoting
to
another
bit
of
sci-fi
imagery
from
the
last
century,
make
sure
you
read
the
second
sentence
in
the
Big
Brother
voice
from
the
Apple
ad.
This
account
is,
what
we
in
the
business
would
call
“legally
irrelevant.”
The
crux
of
the
lawsuit
is
that
Trump
can’t
unilaterally
demolish
and
rebuild
national
monuments
without
congressional
approval.
This
proves
that
something
has
to
sit
atop
this
bunker,
but
does
nothing
to
establish
that
it
has
to
be
a
gaudy
ballroom,
much
less
this
architectural
monstrosity.
And,
of
course,
is
silent
on
why
the
president
gets
to
unilaterally
decide
any
of
this.
With
such
a
facility,
it
would
have
been
impossible
for
an
attack
like
that
which
took
place
last
Saturday
evening
in
D.C.
when
an
attempted
assassin,
armed
with
a
shotgun,
pistol,
and
knives,
charged
through
a
security
checkpoint
at
the
Washington
Hilton
in
an
attempt
to
assassinate
President
Donald
J.
Trump,
First
Lady
Melania
Trump,
and
members
of
the
President’s
Cabinet
and
senior
staff,
during
the
White
House
Correspondents’
Dinner.
There’s
a
lot
wrong
with
this,
including
the
oft-noted
fact
that
the
Correspondents’
Dinner
is
not
an
official
event
and
the
president
doesn’t
have
to
attend
if
he
doesn’t
want
to,
but
as
Matt
Szafranski
pointed
out
yesterday,
the
proposed
ballroom
IS
NOT
BIG
ENOUGH
TO
HOST
THE
WHITE
HOUSE
CORRESPONDENTS’
DINNER.
The
WHCD
typically
draws
over
2,500
attendees.
The
Trump
ballroom
project
claims
to
accommodate
999
people.
Why
is
no
one
else
pointing
this
out?
Three
assassination
attempts—including
the
attempt
in
Butler,
Pennsylvania,
where
an
assassin’s
bullet
hit
the
President’s
ear—is
enough.
Oh,
I
see
what
you
did
there!
A
little
nod
to
Buck
v.
Bell
and
“three
generations
of
imbeciles are
enough.”
Just
without
matching
verb
tense.
In
addition,
in
the
long
and
storied
history
of
the
White
House
dating
back
to
1791,
Congress
has
never
dictated
or
tampered
with
the
zoning,
permitting,
or
architectural
aspects
of
any
Project,
especially
one
being
given
FREE
OF
CHARGE
AS
A
GIFT
TO
THE
COUNTRY!
Is
the
ballroom
an
essential
part
of
national
security
or
a
gift?
Because
it
seems
irresponsible
to
have
a
vital
national
security
project
crowdfunded
by
wealthy
donors.
Alas,
it
is
not
free
of
charge
anyway,
despite
this
capitalization.
As
the
New
York
Times
reports,
Trump
is
handing
out
secret
no-bid
contracts
to
the
construction
company
working
on
the
ballroom
to
pay
them
millions
and
millions
over
estimates
for
other
projects.
Though,
in
light
of
the
WHCD
attack,
this
Congress
will
probably
go
ahead
and
greenlight
taxpayer
funds
anyway.
Without
such
a
location,
the
President
is
thus
put
to
the
choice
of
risking
his
safety
by
attending
events
in
unsecure
venues—be
it
the
tents
on
the
White
House
lawn,
or
places
like
the
Washington
Hilton
(which
is
now
home
to
two
attempted
presidential
assassinations)—or
forgoing
those
events
entirely—to
the
detriment
of
his
constitutional
responsibility
to
“speak[]
to
and
on
behalf
of
the
American
people,”
Trump
v.
United
States,
603
U.S.
593,
617-618
(2023).
He
can’t
attend
events
in
tents
on
the
White
House
lawn?
So…
where
does
Trump
plan
to
watch
this?
That’s
the
UFC
match
the
official
White
House
account
claims
Trump
will
place
on
the
White
House
lawn.
I
guess
maybe
he’ll
watch
from
the
window
of
his
ballroom?
Is
Trump
now
committing
not
to
hang
out
in
tents
on
the
Ellipse
to
coordinate
the
next
assault
on
the
Capitol?
That
might
be
a
nice
fringe
benefit
for
the
country.
If
any
other
President
had
the
ability,
foresight,
or
talents
necessary,
to
build
this
ballroom,
which
will
be
one
of
the
greatest,
safest,
and
most
secure
structures
of
its
kind
anywhere
in
the
World,
there
would
never
have
been
a
lawsuit.
But,
because
it
is
DONALD
J.
TRUMP,
a
highly
successful
real
estate
developer,
who
has
abilities
that
others
don’t,
especially
those
who
assume
the
Office
of
President,
this
frivolous
and
meritless
lawsuit
was
filed.
Again,
it’s
called
TRUMP
DERANGEMENT
SYNDROME.
I
believe
we
defined
the
term
as
TDS
earlier.
While
Trump
enjoys
describing
himself
in
a
manner
best
described
as
Pyongyang-chic,
it
doesn’t
have
to
make
its
way
into
filings.
But
that’s
the
nature
of
a
Department
of
Justice
staffed
by
lawyers
who
have
sacrificed
their
oaths
to
the
Constitution
and
styled
themselves
as
Trump’s
personal
lawyers
—
which,
it’s
worth
noting,
both
Blanche
and
Woodward
were
before
this.
But
it’s
also
why
state
licensing
authorities
remain
the
final
defense
of
the
profession.
Trump
might
have
dictated
this
brief,
but
these
lawyers
slapped
their
names
on
it.
These
are
the
lawyers
who
signed
their
credibility
away
to
a
brief
that
raises
serious
questions
about
their
ability
to
competently
practice
law.
They
allowed
the
president
turn
federal
courts
into
amateur
hour,
a
decision
that
would
raise
ethical
questions
if
they
were
placing
their
client’s
whims
over
their
professional
experience
and
judgment.
But
on
top
of
that,
the
president
is
not,
in
fact,
the
Department’s
client.
The
DOJ
is
supposed
to
represent
the
United
States
and
place
its
interests
above
the
White
House’s
current
occupant.
Or
“their”
interests
since
we’ve
just
abandoned
grammar.
Earlier:
Good
Job
DOJ,
Now
The
Conspiracy
Theorists
Have
A
Point
The
Hilariously
Stupid
Emails
Between
Trump’s
Lawyer
&
The
Judge
Over
His
Closing
Argument
Request
Disbar
Them
All:
The
Only
Accountability
Left
For
Trump’s
Lawyers
Joe
Patrice is
a
senior
editor
at
Above
the
Law
and
co-host
of
Thinking
Like
A
Lawyer.
Feel
free
to email
any
tips,
questions,
or
comments.
Follow
him
on Twitter or
Bluesky
if
you’re
interested
in
law,
politics,
and
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healthy
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news.
Joe
also
serves
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Managing
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Search.