Ed.
note:
This
is
the
latest
installment
in
a
series
of
posts
on
motherhood
in
the
legal
profession,
in
partnership
with
our
friends
at MothersEsquire.
Welcome
Katie
Wiley
back
to
our
pages.
Click here if
you’d
like
to
donate
to
MothersEsquire.
The
billable
requirement
is
looming.
Midyear
forecasts
and
strategic
planning
sessions
are
stacking
on
your
calendar
faster
than
you
can
hit
decline.
The
next
quarter
bonus
feels
close
enough
to
taste.
Meanwhile,
your
personal
calendar
has
more
color
coding
than
a
box
of
crayons.
The
list
of
things
you
have
to
remember
sits
on
your
shoulders
like
a
heavy
backpack.
Did
your
brain
automatically
start
an
inner
dialogue?
It
might
sound
like
this:
Don’t
forget
the
end-of-year
awards
ceremony
for
each
of
your
kids.
(Is
it
business
casual
or
“dressy
but
not
too
dressy”?)
When
is
the
kindergarten
graduation
rehearsal?
Why
is
there
a
graduation
for
kindergarten?
Do
they
need
a
white
shirt?
Do
we
own
one?
Mother’s
Day
brunch
reservations
—
did
I
make
those?
Do
I
even
want
brunch
or
do
I
just
need
a
nap?
Teacher
gifts.
Class
parties.
Field
day
signups.
Memorial
Day
travel
plans.
Who
booked
what?
Summer
camp
deposits.
Why
are
there
17
portals?
And
somehow,
also:
Don’t
forget
to
finalize
the
board
materials.
Feel
that
tightening
in
your
chest?
Maybe
your
jaw
or
throat?
Take
a
breath.
In
through
the
nose.
Out
through
the
mouth.
No,
really,
do
this!
May
has
quietly
become
the
new
December
—
Maycember!
For
those
of
us
balancing
demanding
careers
with
school-aged
children,
this
stretch
of
weeks
carries
an
intensity
that
feels
less
like
a
gentle
glide
into
summer
and
more
like
sprinting
the
final
mile
of
a
marathon,
while
juggling
logistics,
expectations,
and
emotions.
There
are
year-end
programs
and
awards
ceremonies.
Graduations
—
from
preschool
to
college.
Final
concerts.
Final
games.
Final
everything.
And
with
all
of
that,
there
is
also
joy
and
grief
at
another
year
flying
by.
There
is
Mother’s
Day,
layered
with
celebration
and
expectation.
For
those
without
a
mother
or
a
challenging
relationship
with
a
mother,
there
are
added
layers
of
emotions.
There
is
Memorial
Day,
marking
both
remembrance
and
the
unofficial
start
of
summer.
There
is
summer
planning
—
camps,
childcare,
vacations,
and
coverage
at
work.
While
quietly
hoping
that
you
get
to
enjoy
it
a
little,
too.
Culturally,
we
are
encouraged
to
view
this
through
a
highlight
reel
lens:
“It’s
such
a
special
time.”
“They
grow
up
so
fast.”
“You’ll
miss
this.”
All
of
that
may
be
true.
And
it
can
still
be
A
LOT.
Lawyers
are
skilled
at
holding
multiple
truths
at
once.
Gratitude
and
overwhelm.
Joy
and
exhaustion.
Pride
and
pressure.
Let’s
allow
that
complexity
instead
of
pretending
one
emotion
cancels
out
the
other.
Once
we
acknowledge
where
we
are,
we
can
choose
how
to
move
through
it.
What
follows
is
a
simple
practice
to
help
you
prioritize
presence
over
pressure
this
season.
1.
Get
Clear
On
What
Actually
Matters
To
You
In
a
perfect
world,
you
would
do
this
before
May
arrives.
But
if
you’re
reading
this
now,
today
is
not
too
late.
Grab
something
to
write
on
—
or
open
the
notes
app
on
your
phone.
Set
a
timer
for
five
minutes.
Answer
one
or
more
of
the
following
questions
honestly,
without
judgment:
-
What
end-of-year
activity
genuinely
makes
you
smile
just
thinking
about
it? -
What
obligation
once
felt
meaningful
but
now
fills
you
with
dread? -
Do
you
truly
have
to
do
it?
If
yes,
who
says? -
Is
there
a
simpler
or
more
aligned
way
to
participate? -
Is
there
something
you’ve
always
wanted
to
prioritize
in
this
season,
perhaps
a
pause,
a
tradition,
even
rest? -
Are
your
finances
or
capacity
different
than
last
year?
Does
that
affect
what
you
say
yes
to
now?
Clarity
reduces
noise.
When
everything
feels
important,
nothing
is
intentional.
2.
Get
Clear
On
What
Matters
To
Your
People
Ask
your
family
the
same
questions.
You
may
discover
that
what
you’ve
been
stressing
about
isn’t
actually
at
the
top
of
their
list.
Practical
Tip:
I
remind
my
family
that
just
because
they
don’t
personally
value
an
activity
doesn’t
mean
it
isn’t
meaningful
to
someone
they
love.
They
get
to
decide
whether
to
prioritize
the
relationship
by
participating
(even
if
it’s
not
their
favorite
event).
However,
that
participation
should
never
come
at
a
physical,
mental,
or
emotional
cost
they
cannot
bear.
Presence
is
relational.
It
requires
honesty
on
both
sides.
3.
Anything
That
Is
Not
A
Full-Body
YES
Is
A
Quick
NO
If
it
is
not
a
full-body
yes
and
it
is
not
on
your
clarified
priority
list,
it
is
a
no.
A
quick
one.
Do
not
waste
energy
vacillating.
Decision
fatigue
is
real,
and
this
season
amplifies
it.
You
are
not
committing
to
never
volunteering
again,
never
attending
that
event,
or
never
hosting
that
gathering.
You
are
simply
acknowledging
that
it
is
not
available
this
year.
Boundaries
are
seasonal.
Capacity
changes.
That
is
normal.
Saying
no
to
one
thing
creates
space
to
be
fully
present
for
another.
4.
Monitor
And
Protect
Your
Capacity
Daily
This
season
expands
quickly.
Your
energy
does
not
automatically
expand
with
it.
Ask
yourself:
-
Am
I
sleeping? -
Have
I
nourished
or
moved
my
body? -
Do
I
need
to
talk
to
a
therapist
or
trusted
friend? -
Can
I
take
five
minutes
for
breathwork
or
quiet? -
Do
I
need
to
edit
my
commitments
again?
This
is
not
about
adding
more
to
your
list.
It
is
about
protecting
the
foundation
that
allows
you
to
show
up
well.
If
you
are
depleted,
you
will
be
physically
present
but
emotionally
absent.
The
goal
is
not
to
attend
everything.
The
goal
is
to
experience
what
you
choose.
Practical
Tip:
If
there
is
“no
time”
for
any
of
this,
revisit
your
list.
Something
likely
needs
to
come
off.
We
each
have
168
hours
every
week.
Within
those
hours,
it
is
possible
to
design
a
life
that
includes
meaningful
work,
rest,
and
connection
with
the
people
you
care
about.
It
may
require
creativity.
It
may
require
uncomfortable
conversations.
It
will
almost
certainly
require
saying
no.
Maycember
does
not
have
to
be
a
blur
you
survive.
It
can
be
a
series
of
intentional
moments
you
choose.
Presence
over
pressure.
Connection
over
comparison.
Clarity
over
chaos.
When
the
season
ends
and
summer
begins,
you
likely
won’t
remember
how
perfectly
executed
every
event
was.
You
will
remember
how
it
felt.
So
will
your
people.
Choose
accordingly.
Katie
Wiley
is
the
person
companies
turn
to
when
they
need
someone
to
balance
rapid
growth
with
sound
strategy.
Currently,
Katie
serves
as
Chief
Legal
Officer
for
Round
Room,
where
she
oversees
Legal,
Human
Resources,
Compliance
and
Ethics,
Real
Estate,
and
Mergers
and
Acquisitions.
At
Round
Room,
she
founded
the
Circle
of
Influence,
a
professional
development
group
that’s
been
a
game-changer
for
over
1,000
women
across
the
company.
She’s
passionate
about
creating
spaces
where
people
feel
supported
and
can
grow,
which
has
led
to
stronger
retention,
better
leadership,
and
a
company
culture
where
people
actually
enjoy
working.
When
she’s
not
solving
corporate
conundrums,
you’ll
find
Katie
hanging
with
her
husband,
two
sons,
and
their
dog.