You’re probably trying to avoid stressing yourself out over the election, the results, and the games that will be played in court between the political football teams. It’s a big day today. BIG! HUGE! AIIIIIGH!!!!
I’m not going to talk about that here.
Instead, I’m going to talk about something I’ve been thinking about for a long time. That is: I never had a blankie as a kid. Or a teddy bear. I had nothing to which I could attach some moment of safety. In a sense, I kind of think a lot of my childhood was to ready me for 2020.
I thought about how I was smarter as a kid than I am now. To escape, I’d ride my bike all day. Climb trees. See nature (to the extent it existed near me). They were distractions perhaps, but also things that put me in touch with the larger world around me. They also made me more at peace. Safe zones, as it were.
It’s hard to live in a realm of constant drama. Minute by minute it changes, knocking you off your guard from achieving some moment of stability and clarity. It’s the reason that we are exhausted, can’t sleep, and increasingly unable to have normal communications with one another.
What makes it WORSE is if you’re one of the folks in isolation during the pandemic. You’re the one in the house watching all the others play while you’re grounded. The FOMO is real, as is the resentment. And it might even be that your worst appears and you wish ill upon others who are engaged in such behavior just to justify the precautions you’ve taken.
I think it is easy to become absorbed in the drama because we lack the distractions that we typically use. The drama is ever-present, and even moments of escapism can be reminders of what we’re avoiding. It’s like walking away from the pot you hope boils, and are disappointed every minute it isn’t.
And if you’re a law student, you’re doing this all wondering about your grades, your exams, whether or not the Bar will choose to torture you like it did this year’s candidates, whether there will be other challenges that add more straws to your camel’s back.
The solution, I think, is to find moments of joy each day. That’s right: You need moments where your exclusive focus is on something that is pleasurable. Get your mind out of the gutter, and read on.
Some use meditation to achieve that joy. They enter their mind and find some clarity and peace. I’ve meditated before and hope to return to it. Those were moments that brought me sheer peace, and made me think that I could withstand anything. Regardless, it was a moment where the world did not intrude on my best days of meditation and was only mildly annoying on my worst. But it’s hard for me to sit still for any period of time, so I get it if this isn’t your thing. It wasn’t mine at first, either.
Another way is to set some time each week/day to speak with a nontoxic friend. I don’t mean the person who causes your blood pressure to rise. Not the one that wants to talk smack. I mean the ones you genuinely enjoy speaking with about topics that are pleasurable. The friends that want you to win. This might be easier for people who are in healthy relationships. But sometimes it’s possible for people who are not in one to find those connections as well. Sometimes it is easier to keep the world out that way.
If it is impossible to create a safe zone by yourself or with a friend, then it might be possible to escape to a different world. That can be with a book (preferably one that doesn’t mirror current events) or something nonelectronic. A puzzle. Something that distracts the mind that isn’t focused on the screen, the world, the drama.
Some achieve that moment through intense exercise. I’ve tried this, too. And there is something to be said about not being able to catch my breath such that the world no longer feels as pressing as my desire for oxygen. Okay, that’s a bit of an exaggeration. But the point is, those moments can achieve the same result, if you enjoy it. If it is merely another task, then you’re missing the point. Exercise might achieve another goal (such as lowering anxiety), but it isn’t a moment of pleasure.
It isn’t enough to “take a break” from the drama. What’s required is that there be something valuable and joyful beyond the drama. What’s required is that we take those moments — that we make time for those moments. It’s easy to say that we lack time for it, but for some reason we have all the time in the world to dread.
Maybe steal from the time spent dreading and give those moments to seeking joy. It won’t make the world a better place — that requires compassion. But it can make the world a momentarily better for you.
LawProfBlawg is an anonymous professor at a top 100 law school. You can see more of his musings here. He is way funnier on social media, he claims. Please follow him on Twitter (@lawprofblawg) or Facebook. Email him at lawprofblawg@gmail.com.