The
Onion
presents
itself
as
America’s
Finest
News
Source.
Speaking
frankly,
that
tongue-in-cheek
moniker
has
a
lot
going
for
it.
NYT
v.
Sullivan
has
to
take
the
cake
for
the
most
famous
legal
case
involving
a
newspaper,
but
The
Onion’s
brief
on
why
parody
requires
the
First
Amendment
as
a
foundation
hits
way
above
its
weight
class.
And
while
its
legal
jokes
—
like
most
of
its
other
humor
—
should
be
taken
with
a
grain
of
salt,
the
paper’s
jokes
are
occasionally
burdened
with
Apollo’s
gift
of
prophecy.
You
may
remember
this
Onion
headline
from
May
of
2025:
“Sean
Combs
Asks
For
Quick
Trial
So
He
Can
Get
To
Part
Where
Trump
Pardons
Him.”
And
while
the
headline
made
for
a
good
guffhaw,
there’s
no
way
that
the
Freakoff
President
would
successfully
nab
a
pardon
from
a
President
accused
of
attending
underage
freakoffs,
right?
That
plan
is
crazy!
So
crazy
in
fact,
that
it
just
might
work:
Sean’s
lawyers
may
have
pitched
a
similar
argument
to
Trump
when
they
reached
out
to
him.
NBC
has
coverage:
Sean
“Diddy”
Combs’
defense
team
has
reached
out
to
President
Donald
Trump
seeking
a
pardon
after
his
conviction
on
prostitution-related
offenses,
a
source
close
to
the
legal
team
told
NBC
News
on
Tuesday.Asked
about
pardons
in
an
interview
with
Newsmax
on
Friday,
Trump
said
“they
have
talked
to
me
about
Sean”
but
did
not
announce
any
decision.The
source
close
to
Combs’
legal
team
confirmed
to
NBC
News
that
it
has
been
in
contact
with
the
Trump
administration.
A
zealous
defense
is
a
zealous
defense
—
Diddy’s
legal
team
would
be
fools
if
they
didn’t
whatever
avenue
could
get
their
clients
to
walk.
Trump
actually
has
a
pretty
strong
track
record
when
it
comes
to
protecting
rappers
from
legal
consequences.
He
famously
pardoned
Lil
Wayne
and
commuted
Kodak
Black’s
sentence
right
before
he
left
office
on
his
first
term
and
threatened
a
damned
trade
war
with
Sweden
if
they
didn’t
release
A$ap
Rocky
before
that.
If
the
amateur
porn
argument
isn’t
persuasive
enough
to
get
Combs
off
the
hook,
a
chance
at
a
presidential
pardon
is
a
strong
ace
in
the
hole.
Sean
‘Diddy’
Combs
Has
Reached
Out
To
Trump
About
Pardon,
Source
Says
[NBC
News]
Chris
Williams
became
a
social
media
manager
and
assistant
editor
for
Above
the
Law
in
June
2021.
Prior
to
joining
the
staff,
he
moonlighted
as
a
minor
Memelord™
in
the
Facebook
group Law
School
Memes
for
Edgy
T14s
.
He
endured
Missouri
long
enough
to
graduate
from
Washington
University
in
St.
Louis
School
of
Law.
He
is
a
former
boatbuilder
who
is
learning
to
swim, is
interested
in
critical
race
theory,
philosophy,
and
humor,
and
has
a
love
for
cycling
that
occasionally
annoys
his
peers.
You
can
reach
him
by
email
at [email protected]
and
by
tweet
at @WritesForRent.