Once
upon
a
time,
I
was
on
the
way
to
a
major
sporting
event
with
a
good
friend
of
mine
in
his
car.
(What’s
the
difference
between
a
BMW
full
of
lawyers
and
a
porcupine?
With
the
porcupine,
the
pricks
are
on
the
outside!)
When
we
happened
upon
what
seemed
to
me
to
be
an
impossibly
small
parking
space
open
on
the
street,
he
skillfully
backed
right
in.
Not,
however,
without
the
slightest
jolt
when
we
gently
tapped
the
vehicle
behind
us.
Then
there
was
another
tiny
impact
against
the
car
in
front
of
us
when
he
pulled
forward
to
even
out.
“Bumpers
are
for
bumping,”
my
friend
said
matter-of-factly.
Coming,
as
I
do,
from
a
part
of
the
world
where
there
is
typically
space
to
leave
several
car-lengths
between
vehicles
in
a
parking
lot,
and
where
many
drivers
view
the
slightest
scratch
to
the
treasured
vehicles
from
which
they
derive
their
entire
personalities
as
a
murderable
offense,
this
“bumpers
are
for
bumping”
philosophy
caused
me
to
momentarily
panic.
I
looked,
though,
as
closely
as
I
could
at
all
three
vehicles,
hopefully
without
letting
my
friend
catch
me
being
that
uncool.
I
couldn’t
make
out
even
the
slightest
amount
of
damage
to
any
of
them.
Since
my
preconceptions
were
challenged
on
this
fateful
day
many
years
ago,
I
have
continued
to
mellow
out
on
minor,
purely
cosmetic
damage
to
motor
vehicles.
If
you
treat
every
ding
and
dent
to
the
skin
of
an
object
you’re
going
to
be
driving
around
outside
in
all
kinds
of
weather
at
70
miles
per
hour
like
it
is
the
vilest
insult
to
your
beloved
mother,
I
just
don’t
think
we
are
going
to
be
friends.
Compared
to
my
evolution
on
this
subject,
the
rental
car
company
Hertz
has
decided
to
go
in
the
opposite
direction.
Instead
of
a
human
person
taking
three
seconds
to
walk
around
the
car
when
you
return
it
in
order
to
spot
any
glaringly
obvious
problems,
Hertz
is
now
running
its
returned
vehicles
(at
least
at
its
airport
locations)
through
an
artificial
intelligence
hardware
and
software
system
called
UVeye.
UVeye’s
damage
scanning
system
looks
a
bit
like
the
entrance
to
an
automated
car
wash,
except
instead
of
dousing
your
car
with
a
delightful
medley
of
multicolored
solutions,
it
bathes
your
car
in
light
that
can
detect
imperfections
invisible
to
the
human
eye.
Reports
are
rampant
of
Hertz
customers
being
automatically
charged
hundreds
of
dollars
for
damage
allegedly
discovered
by
UVeye
that
is
trivial,
non-existent,
or
predated
their
rental.
When
rental
customers
have
tried
to
contest
these
charges,
they
faced
the
challenges
we
have
all
become
accustomed
to
of
needing
both
the
patience
of
Job
and
the
luck
of
the
Irish
to
ever
reach
an
actual
human
being
capable
of
doing
something
to
address
the
issue.
For
now,
you
can
mostly
prevent
the
AI
nanny
state
from
charging
you
for
using
your
bumper
for
bumping
if
you
give
your
business
to
one
of
the
other
major
domestic
rental
car
companies.
That
being
said,
other
car
rental
companies
are
reportedly
beginning
to
invest
in
implementing
similar
technologies.
Soon,
we
might
all
simply
be
stuck
with
another
dystopian
layer
built
in
to
the
already
unpleasant
task
of
renting
a
car
while
traveling.
Car
rental
companies
are
far
from
the
only
businesses
to
enjoy
the
power
imbalance
of
holding
all
the
informational
cards
when
using
AI
to
accuse
customers
of
causing
damage
to
property
they
no
longer
have
access
to.
For
instance,
a
London-based
academic
recently
renting
an
apartment
in
Manhattan
through
Airbnb
was
stunned
to
discover
when
she
got
home
that
she
was
being
charged
the
equivalent
of
more
than
$15,000
for
damage
she
supposedly
caused
to
the
premises.
After
Herculean
efforts
with
customer
service
in
pointing
out
that
several
images
from
the
host
allegedly
showing
the
damage
were
inconsistent
with
one
another
and
had
apparently
been
altered
by
AI,
Airbnb
not
only
eventually
dropped
the
additional
charges
but
also
refunded
her
for
her
entire
stay.
The
host,
meanwhile,
was
given
a
warning
for
violating
Airbnb’s
terms.
His
listing
for
the
apartment
remains
live
on
the
site.
Of
course,
customers
can
be
AI
cheaters
too.
Surely
there
are
many
examples
out
there
of
consumers
using
artificial
intelligence
to
try
to
fake
evidence
of
a
bad
stay,
a
faulty
product,
etc.
in
order
to
get
something
of
value
for
free.
Still,
even
as
AI
becomes
increasingly
affordable
and
accessible,
companies
that
have
themselves
outsourced
so
much
internal
judgment
and
decision-making
to
machines
will
always
have
the
advantage.
A
corporation
rarely
has
to
listen
to
an
individual
calling
in
to
try
to
rectify
something,
and
the
big
ones
can
afford
to
alienate
a
lot
of
us
(especially
if
all
their
competitors
are
employing
similar
business
practices)
before
they
see
any
consequences
in
their
bottom
lines.
Completely
faked
images
or
videos
are
one
thing.
I
suppose
short
of
all
of
us
becoming
AI-debunking
experts,
we
are
just
going
to
have
to
find
ways
to
live
in
a
world
where
you
really
can’t
believe
a
lot
of
what
you
see
with
your
own
eyes.
When
it
comes
to
shit
like
UVeye,
though,
can
we
not
just
all
agree
to
pull
the
plug?
Renting
out
cars
could
be
profitable
as
a
business
long
before
UVeye
came
along.
UVeye
does
not
improve
the
customer
experience,
but
rather
annoys
and
alarms
consumers.
Let’s
say
it
could
detect
some
microscopic
dimpling
in
a
“bumpers
are
for
bumping”
scenario
—
is
that
really
a
valid
thing
to
charge
a
customer
for
anyway
if
no
unaided
human
could
detect
it?
Even
if
UVeye
makes
Hertz
a
little
more
money,
it
is
not
a
reasonable
trade-off
for
what
it
takes
away
from
the
car
rental
experience
for
the
traveler.
Perhaps
executives
somewhere
at
some
point
will
realize
that
using
AI
to
more
efficiently
screw
their
own
customers
is
not
a
good
long-term
recipe
for
success.
Jonathan
Wolf
is
a
civil
litigator
and
author
of Your
Debt-Free
JD (affiliate
link).
He
has
taught
legal
writing,
written
for
a
wide
variety
of
publications,
and
made
it
both
his
business
and
his
pleasure
to
be
financially
and
scientifically
literate.
Any
views
he
expresses
are
probably
pure
gold,
but
are
nonetheless
solely
his
own
and
should
not
be
attributed
to
any
organization
with
which
he
is
affiliated.
He
wouldn’t
want
to
share
the
credit
anyway.
He
can
be
reached
at [email protected].