We
lawyers
love
to
talk.
But
listening?
Not
so
much.
Yet
active
listening
and
paying
close
attention
go
a
long
way
to
understanding
others
and
improving
your
communication
with
them.
Here
are
tips
to
improve
your
next
conversation:
-
Adopt
a
learner’s
mindset.
Treat
every
conversation
as
an
opportunity
to
learn,
not
to
speak. -
Assume
positive
intent.
Approach
every
conversation
as
if
the
other
person
has
something
valuable
to
share. -
Be
patient.
Don’t
rush
the
other
person.
Allow
them
to
express
themselves
fully. -
Be
curious,
not
judgmental.
Ask
yourself
why
they
think
or
feel
the
way
they
do. -
Set
aside
your
agenda.
Prioritize
understanding
them
instead
of
pushing
your
narrative. -
Stay
present.
Eliminate
distractions.
Put
your
phone
away. -
Be
willing
to
be
wrong.
Accept
that
they
may
know
something
you
don’t. -
Show
humility.
Avoid
dominating
the
conversation
and
allow
them
to
feel
valued. -
Focus
on
their
needs,
not
your
response.
Listening
is
about
them
and
what
they’re
saying,
not
about
formulating
your
response. -
Use
open-ended
questions.
This
encourages
more
fulsome
responses. -
Mirror
language
subtly.
Repeat
key
phrases
or
words
they
use
to
show
understanding. -
Paraphrase
their
statements.
Summarize
their
statements
to
ensure
you
understand
them. -
Ask
clarifying
questions.
Probe
gently
when
you
are
unsure
what
they
are
saying. -
Avoid
interrupting.
Let
them
finish
before
you
speak,
even
if
you
think
you
know
the
point
they
are
making. -
Use
minimal
encouragers.
Use
words
to
show
you’re
tracking
with
them. -
Don’t
rush
the
conversation.
Let
the
conversation
flow
naturally. -
Respect
topic
shifts.
Notice
when
and
why
they
change
topics. -
Track
their
word
choice.
Pay
attention
to
their
diction
–
it
reveals
their
mood
and
comfort
level. -
Validate
their
perspective.
Even
if
you
disagree,
acknowledge
that
their
view
has
value
to
them. -
Don’t
hijack
their
story.
Avoid
turning
their
experience
into
a
story
from
your
life. -
Speak
less,
listen
more.
They
should
speak
70-80%
of
the
time. -
Maintain
good
eye
contact.
Shows
you’re
paying
attention. -
Keep
an
open
posture.
Avoid
crossing
arms
or
turning
away. -
Lean
slightly
forward.
This
shows
interest. -
Mirror
their
body
language.
Subtly
reflect
their
posture
and
gestures. -
Observe
facial
expressions.
Are
they
making
eye
contact?
Their
eyes,
eyebrows,
and
mouth
reveal
a
lot. -
Watch
for
micro
expressions.
Quick
flashes
of
emotion
can
reveal
underlying
feelings. -
Look
for
physical
distance.
Do
they
lean
in
or
pull
away?
Shows
comfort
or
discomfort. -
Notice
hand
gestures.
They
can
signal
confidence,
nervousness,
or
other
emotions. -
Note
changes
in
posture.
Sudden
shifts
may
indicate
a
reaction
to
a
given
topic. -
Recognize
fidgeting.
May
indicate
anxiety. -
Watch
breathing
patterns.
Fast
or
shallow
breathing
may
indicate
stress. -
Pay
attention
to
feet.
People
often
point
their
feet
in
the
direction
they
want
to
go.
If
their
feet
are
pointing
away
from
you,
they
may
be
looking
to
end
the
conversation. -
See
where
they
look.
Breaking
eye
contact
repeatedly
may
indicate
interest
in
someone
or
something
else. -
Note
speech
pace.
Fast
can
mean
nervousness
and
excitement.
Slow
could
mean
deliberate
or
uncertain. -
Listen
to
pitch
changes.
A
rising
pitch
may
signal
stress. -
Identify
filler
words.
Filler
words
may
indicate
uncertainty
or
that
they’re
trying
to
choose
their
words
carefully. -
Pay
attention
to
breathing.
Labored
or
shallow
breathing
may
indicate
stress. -
Spot
unnatural
pauses.
They
may
be
hiding
something. -
Notice
sighs
or
deep
breaths
before
responding.
Suggesting
something
is
not
being
said. -
Notice
what
they
avoid.
Avoided
subjects
may
carry
emotional
weight. -
See
what
energizes
them.
They
light
up
or
speed
up
when
discussing
something
they
are
passionate
about. -
Identify
repeated
topics.
Frequently
speaking
about
a
topic
shows
genuine
interest
in
it. -
Watch
for
contradictions.
May
signal
unresolved
feelings
or
an
incomplete
truth. -
Focus
on
emotional
words.
Words
reflecting
one’s
emotional
state
reveal
something
more
profound. -
Track
how
long
they
spend
on
each
topic.
More
time
equals
more
importance. -
Check
for
time
orientation.
Are
they
focused
on
the
past,
present,
or
future? -
See
if
they
talk
about
solutions
or
problems.
Reveals
whether
they
are
problem
solvers
or
worry
about
problems. -
Blinking
rapidly.
It
may
be
a
sign
of
stress. -
Smile
with
eyes.
Shows
a
genuine
smile
and
happiness. -
Jaw
clenching.
Suggestions
of
tension
or
anger. -
Chewing
lips.
Reflects
anxiety,
hesitation
of
deep
thought. -
Frequent
head
shaking
“no”
while
speaking
“yes.”
May
reveal
inner
conflict
or
disagreement
with
what
they
are
saying. -
Crossed
arms
tightly.
May
show
disagreement
or
defensiveness. -
Covering
the
mouth
when
speaking.
May
show
fear
of
saying
too
much
or
insecurity.
Effective
communication
requires
active
listening,
a
close
eye
for
detail,
and
taking
in
everything
the
other
person
is
giving
you
(their
body
language,
their
voice,
their
breathing,
their
cadence,
their
diction,
their
choice
of
topics,
their
approach
to
those
topics)
to
show
them
you’re
there
in
that
moment
with
them.
Frank
Ramos
is
a
partner
at
Goldberg
Segalla
in
Miami,
where
he
practices
commercial
litigation,
products,
and
catastrophic
personal
injury. You
can
follow
him
on LinkedIn.