As
many
of
us
already
know
from
firsthand
experience,
the
legal
profession
can
be
extremely
stressful
and
adversarial
at
times.
Opposing
parties
in
litigation
have
a
duty
to
diligently
advance
the
positions
of
their
clients,
and
this
can
lead
to
friction
between
adversaries.
In
addition,
lawyers
on
opposing
sides
of
a
deal
may
have
differing
views
about
terms
and
conditions
that
can
lead
to
some
heated
discussions.
However,
if
adversaries
connect
more
often
on
a
human
level,
it
is
much
easier
to
put
a
name
to
a
face
and
work
toward
fostering
rapport
that
can
be
important
to
resolving
litigation
and
transactional
matters.
Throughout
my
career,
I
have
tried
to
connect
with
adversaries
on
a
more
personal
level,
and
this
has
resulted
in
some
positive
outcomes
for
clients.
Even
if
lawyers
see
each
other
at
numerous
court
appearances
and
depositions,
it
can
be
difficult
to
build
a
deeper
connection
with
adversaries.
One
of
the
easiest
ways
to
build
rapport
is
to
invite
an
adversary
to
a
meal.
Often,
adversaries
find
themselves
away
from
their
offices
together
for
a
deposition
or
court
conference,
and
everybody
has
to
eat.
This
could
be
a
good
way
to
make
inroads
with
an
adversary
that
can
have
a
positive
impact
on
a
representation.
Earlier
in
my
career,
I
used
to
work
on
mass
torts
cases,
and
I
spent
much
of
this
time
on
the
road
and
attending
court
conferences
up
and
down
the
East
Coast.
Often,
I
would
be
in
random
places
with
the
other
attorneys
involved
in
a
matter,
including
opposing
counsel.
I
would
always
be
the
first
person
to
set
up
a
dinner
for
all
of
the
lawyers
staying
in
an
area,
and
I
made
sure
to
invite
opposing
counsel.
Some
lawyers
on
the
same
side
of
the
“v”
as
me
were
a
little
wary
about
doing
this,
and
some
of
the
lawyers
did
not
want
to
be
in
photos
with
opposing
counsel,
but
such
dinners
were
always
a
good
time
because
we
could
let
loose
with
opposing
counsel.
In
addition,
forging
those
connections
with
opposing
counsel
came
in
handy
on
a
number
of
occasions.
One
time,
I
had
a
new
client
who
thought
it
should
be
dismissed
from
a
case
due
to
a
complicated
bankruptcy
argument.
I
did
the
research,
and
we
plausibly
had
an
argument,
but
there
was,
of
course,
a
counterargument
to
our
point.
The
opposing
counsel
was
a
lawyer
I
had
befriended
at
various
counsel
dinners
over
the
years.
I
sent
a
stipulation
of
discontinuance
to
this
lawyer
and
explained
our
argument.
After
some
time,
opposing
counsel
agreed
to
stipulate
our
client
out
of
the
case.
Of
course,
I
do
not
think
that
breaking
bread
with
opposing
counsel
was
the
most
important
reason
why
opposing
counsel
decided
to
stip
out
our
client.
However,
it
couldn’t
hurt
that
the
opposing
lawyer
knew
me
other
than
a
name
on
an
email
that
he
received.
Meals
are
not
the
only
time
when
adversaries
can
connect
on
a
personal
level.
It
is
not
completely
uncommon
for
adversaries
to
attend
life
events
of
opposing
counsel,
especially
if
relations
are
relatively
cordial.
When
I
was
working
at
a
defense
firm
handling
mass
torts
cases,
one
of
the
plaintiffs’
lawyers
who
everyone
knew
suffered
a
death
in
the
family.
Many
of
the
defense
lawyers
in
that
mass
tort
attended
the
shiva
for
this
plaintiffs’
lawyer,
and
I
have
to
believe
that
this
meant
a
lot
to
the
grieving
lawyer
and
connected
everyone
on
a
more
personal
level.
Of
course,
there
are
probably
some
adversaries
who
lawyers
would
not
want
to
see
during
vulnerable
times,
but
this
is
not
true
in
every
situation.
Not
that
long
ago,
I
had
an
interesting
situation
in
which
an
adversary
made
an
appearance
in
my
personal
life.
I
was
kibitzing
with
my
adversary,
who
I
had
never
met
on
the
phone
before,
and
we
both
discovered
that
we
would
both
be
running
a
long
race
that
weekend.
There
were
over
10,000
runners
at
the
race,
so
I
did
not
expect
to
run
into
my
adversary,
but
I
told
opposing
counsel
that
he
should
look
out
for
me.
I
am
6
foot
9
inches
tall,
so
there
was
a
good
chance
I’d
be
the
tallest
person
running
that
race
if
he
wanted
to
look
out
for
me.
About
seven
miles
into
the
race,
I
was
deteriorating
due
to
the
weather
and
my
poor
preparation.
Randomly,
I
heard
someone
behind
me
call
my
name.
It
ended
up
being
that
adversary
who
I
had
never
met
before.
The
adversary
and
I
ran
for
a
little
bit
and
then
opposing
counsel
gave
me
some
encouragement
that
helped
power
me
through
the
finish.
Now
I
am
able
to
put
a
name
to
the
face
much
more
easily,
and
my
adversary
and
I
have
an
interesting
shared
experience.
All
told,
it
can
be
easy
to
think
of
adversaries
as
faceless
forces
in
our
professional
lives.
However,
if
lawyers
connect
with
adversaries
on
a
more
personal
level,
it
can
make
practicing
law
much
more
enjoyable
and
yield
better
results
for
clients.
Jordan
Rothman
is
a
partner
of
The
Rothman
Law
Firm,
a
full-service
New
York
and
New
Jersey
law
firm.
He
is
also
the
founder
of
Student
Debt
Diaries,
a
website
discussing
how
he
paid
off
his
student
loans.
You
can
reach
Jordan
through
email
at
jordan@rothmanlawyer.com.