by
SAUL
LOEB
/
AFP)
(Photo
by
SAUL
LOEB/AFP
via
Getty
Images)
I
wrote
a
while
back that,
given
the
choice,
I’d
vote
for
a
stinking
turd
for
president
rather
than
Donald
Trump.
How
right
I
was: A
stinking
turd,
for
example,
would
not
have
pardoned
the
January
6
rioters. A
stinking
turd
would
not
have
imposed
universal
tariffs. A
stinking
turd
would
not
have
threatened
to
take
over
Canada
and
Greenland. A
stinking
turd
would
not
have
posted
a
video
of
itself,
wearing
a
crown,
piloting
an
aircraft,
and
dropping
…
.
Well,
okay. I
agree
with
the
turd
on
three
out
of
four
issues,
and
on
the
fourth,
it’s
a
push. Go
with
the
turd.
In
case
you’re
disturbed
by
my
position,
note
that
I
don’t
actually
favor
putting
stinking
turds
in
the
White
House. I’m
anti-Trump,
but
I’m
not
really
pro-turd.
So
please
take
this
next
statement
in
the
spirit
in
which
it’s
intended: The
Democrats’
next
presidential
nominee
should
be
a
straight
white
male.
I’m
not
homophobic,
femalephobic,
or
minorityphobic.
I’m
just
anti-MAGA. And
the
best
way
for
Democrats
to
defeat
MAGA
is
to
nominate
a
straight
white
male. Nominating
anyone
else
might
cost
the
Democrats
a
few
percentage
points
of
the
vote,
and
that
might
cost
the
Democrats
the
presidency. That
would
be
a
disaster,
so
straight
white
male
it
is.
I’m
thinking
only
about
swing
voters
in
swing
states. If
Pennsylvania
comprises
Philadelphia
and
Pittsburgh,
with
West
Virginia
in
between,
I’m
thinking
about
those
West
Virginians. Might
a
few
percent
of
those
West
Virginians,
consciously
or
not,
cast
a
ballot
in
favor
of
a
straight
white
Republican
man
instead
of
a
Democratic
candidate
who
was
different? I
think
so,
and
I’d
hedge
against
that.
Cory
Booker,
Wes
Moore,
Pete
Buttigieg,
Abigail
Spanberger,
or
Gretchen
Whitmer
would
all
be
fine
candidates
for
president. But
not
now. Not
when
it
matters
so
much.
I’d
take
Gavin
Newsom
off
the
table,
too. Newsom
is
awfully
polished
and
awfully
slick. But
California
is
viewed
by
too
many
Americans
as
the
land
of
fruits
and
nuts. And
California
has
too
many
prominent
issues
—
such
as
homelessness
and
the
high
cost
of
living
—
that
could
be
deployed
against
Newsom. Sorry,
Gavin. Do
what
the
Republicans
so
often
like
to
suggest: Go
back
where
you
came
from.
I’d
take
Josh
Shapiro
off
the
table,
too. Since
he’s
the
governor
of
Pennsylvania,
he’d
surely
carry
Pennsylvania
in
a
presidential
race,
but
I
fear
that
his
religion
might
cost
a
few
votes
in
other
swing
states,
such
as
Michigan
or
Georgia. I
wouldn’t
risk
it. (For
what
it’s
worth,
I
share
Shapiro’s
religion,
and
I
wouldn’t
nominate
myself,
either. I’m
not
an
antisemite;
I’m
a
realist.)
If
I
had
the
choice,
I’d
pick
my
candidate
either
from
one
of
the
swing
states,
to
carry
that
state
in
the
presidential
election,
or
from
some
other
state
in
which
a
Democratic
politician
has
shown
the
ability
to
appeal
to
independents
in
a
conservative
area.
At
this
point,
I’m
not
sure
who
I’d
choose
as
the
Democratic
nominee
in
2028.
But
I’d
pick
from
among
straight
white
males
to
increase
the
chance
of
winning
in
an
election
dominated
by,
to
use
Hillary
Clinton’s
word,
deplorables.
I
realize
that
I’ll
draw
criticism
from
the
progressive
left
for
what
I’ve
written
here: “Herrmann,
you
idiot! A
straight
white
male
won’t
energize
the
base! How
do
you
think
Mamdani
won
in
New
York? The
key
is
to
motivate
people
on
the
left
to
vote.”
I
beg
to
differ. The
forces
of
anti-MAGA
don’t
need
to
energize
the
left. No
matter
who
the
Democrats
nominate,
anti-MAGA
will
win
in
California
and
New
York. We
don’t
need
bigger
margins
in
those
states.
Democrats
must
carry
the
middle
in
Georgia,
Pennsylvania,
Michigan,
Wisconsin,
Arizona,
North
Carolina,
and
Nevada. To
my
eye,
that
calls
for
a
slightly
left-of-center
candidate
who
won’t
offend
anyone: Straight,
white,
male
it
is.
And,
on
further
reflection,
maybe
we
should
rule
out
a
stinking
turd,
too.
Mark Herrmann spent
17
years
as
a
partner
at
a
leading
international
law
firm
and
later
oversaw
litigation,
compliance
and
employment
matters
at
a
large
international
company.
He
is
the
author
of The
Curmudgeon’s
Guide
to
Practicing
Law and Drug
and
Device
Product
Liability
Litigation
Strategy (affiliate
links).
You
can
reach
him
by
email
at [email protected].