When
I
took
the
bar
exam,
a
friend
of
mine
started
drinking
coffee
brewed
with
caffeinated
water.
For
his
sake,
that’s
no
longer
the
worst
bar
exam
prep
strategy
out
there.
Apparently
Kim
Kardashian
relied
on
a
veritable
coven.
Kim
Kardashian
recently
failed
the
bar
—
though
she
can
take
solace
in
knowing
that
she’s
still
likely
a
better
lawyer
than
anyone
involved
with
writing
All’s
Fair
—
and
she
knows
where
her
prep
strategy
went
off
the
rails:
the
psychics.
Talk
about
a
new
level
to
ineffective
assistance
of
counsel.
Psychic:
The
spirits
are
telling
me
to
acknowledge…
does
the
letter
M
have
meaning?
Kardashian:
Yes!
Mary.
Psychic:
And
Mary
has
passed?
Kardashian:
Yes…
and
she
was
a
life
in
being
at
the
time
the
interest
was
created!
Kardashian,
of
course,
continues
her
quest
to
become
a
California
lawyer
—
despite
lacking
an
undergraduate
degree
—
through
California’s
Law
Office
Study
Program
apprenticeship,
allowing
applicants
to
take
the
bar
after
learning
under
an
attorney’s
supervision
as
opposed
to
law
school.
It’s
a
time-honored
path
to
the
profession…
just
like
Abraham
Lincoln
did
it.
Though
Abe
wasn’t
posting
self-portraits
highlighting
his
ass
while
complaining
about
Torts.
Or
did
he?
Honestly,
records
from
that
era
are
spotty
at
best.
After
passing
the
so-called
baby
bar,
the
full
monster
is
the
next
hurdle
on
Kardashian’s
quest.
The
California
Bar
is
designed
to
break
one’s
spirit,
but
that
doesn’t
give
actual
spirits
any
advantage.
I
mean,
what’s
next?
Deciding
civil
rights
for
women
on
the
back
of
a
Supreme
Court
seance
to
divine
the
will
of
a
17th
century
witchhunter?
In
fairness,
there’s
nothing
to
suggest
that
Kardashian
replaced
professional
bar
prep
with
Madame
Res
Ipsa.
But
mainlining
metaphysical
reassurance
doesn’t
put
an
applicant
in
the
right
headspace.
We’re
not
pinning
everything
on
psychic-induced
false
confidence,
but
it
couldn’t
have
helped.
Kardashian’s
drive
to
become
a
lawyer
without
bothering
to
go
to
school
remains
peak
celebrity
self-indulgence.
But
remember
that
she’s
probably
done
more
for
criminal
justice
reform
than
most
senators
campaigning
on
the
issue.
If
anything,
the
problem
with
Kardashian’s
pursuit
of
the
Esq.
is
that
she
doesn’t
need
it.
She
already
has
what
she
needs
to
accomplish
the
work
she’s
set
out
for
herself:
a
grasp
of
fairness,
massive
resources,
and
good
lawyers
saved
in
her
phone.
At
the
end
of
the
day,
the
people
she
wants
to
help
don’t
care
if
she’s
their
lawyer
or
running
the
legal
non-profit
that
gets
them
the
representation
they
need.
Joe
Patrice is
a
senior
editor
at
Above
the
Law
and
co-host
of
Thinking
Like
A
Lawyer.
Feel
free
to email
any
tips,
questions,
or
comments.
Follow
him
on Twitter or
Bluesky
if
you’re
interested
in
law,
politics,
and
a
healthy
dose
of
college
sports
news.
Joe
also
serves
as
a
Managing
Director
at
RPN
Executive
Search.