Vampire
or
Biglaw
summer
associate?
You
be
the
judge.
This
is
a
story
you’re
really
going
to
chew
on
for
a
while.
A
Sidley
summer
associate
in
the
New
York
office
who
we’ll
refer
to
as
Biglaw
Biter
(for
reasons
that
will
soon
be
apparent)
was
let
go
after
a
series
of
incidents
with
other
employees.
What
happened
you
ask?
She
bit
other
people
at
work.
You
are
not
reading
this
incorrectly:
a
Biglaw
summer
associate
bit
people
at
the
firm
—
with
her
teeth.
(For
the
record,
before
settling
on
the
alliterative
Biglaw
Biter
as
the
summer’s
code
name,
we
did
consider
Sidley
Masticator,
Scrumptious
Summer,
Champion
Chomper,
Mike
Tyson
of
Biglaw,
and
the
close
runner-up,
Associate
Lecter.)
According
to
insiders
at
the
firm,
pretty
much
from
the
start
of
the
summer,
the
Biglaw
Biter
started
chomping
away
at
other
employees
at
Sidley
Gnaw-stin
—
not
in
an
aggressive,
“we’re
beefing”
way,
but
more
of
a
faux-quirky
manic
pixie
dream
girl
crossed
with
the
Donner
party
vibe.
But
like,
you’re
in
NYC
for
the
summer
—
if
you
want
to
get
your
kicks
by
biting
people,
there
are
more
consensual
ways
to
do
it.
The
final
chomp-count
is
thought
to
be
in
the
double
digits
(UPDATE:
insiders
now
confirm
there
were
5
people
chewed
on
at
Sidley
this
summer)
—
which
is
an
awfully
long
time
for
the
nibbling
to
continue.
(Though
I’ve
seen
pics
of
the
results
post-Biglaw
Biter,
and
“nibble”
is
probably
too
tame
a
word.
No
one
should
have
marks
on
their
person
after
an
interaction
with
a
co-worker
in
Biglaw
—
emotional
and
psychological
scars
only!)
It’s
unclear
why
this
went
on
so
long
before
reporting
the
Biglaw
Biter,
but
the
rumor
is
she’s
otherwise
personable
and
there
was
some
reluctance
to
elevate
the
matter.
It’s
just
wild
that
this
happened
in
Biglaw.
A
single
bite
is
enough
to
get
a
toddler
written
up
in
an
incident
report
from
daycare.
And
if
the
biting
goes
on
multiple
times?
That’ll
get
you
kicked
out
of
daycare.
And
Biglaw
too,
as
it
happens.
Not
since
the
aughts
have
I
heard
a
tale
of
such
out-of-pocket
summer
associate
behavior.
There
were
strip
club
visits
and
expense
accounts
gone
wild,
but
obviously,
the
classic
of
the
genre
is
Aquagirl.
Above
the
Law
has
long
referred
to
her
exploits
as
the
bar
for
summer
associate
behavior
(though
the
Biglaw
Biter
just
might
take
the
crown).
For
those
that
were
in
their
preschool
biting
phase
back
in
2006,
Aquagirl
was
a
Cleary
summer
associate
who
drunkenly
stripped
down
to
her
underwear
at
an
event
at
Chelsea
Piers
and
jumped
into
the
Hudson
River.
Ultimately
she
had
to
be
rescued
in
a
boat
—
but
still
ended
the
summer
with
an
offer.
Kathryn
Rubino
is
a
Senior
Editor
at
Above
the
Law,
host
of
The
Jabot
podcast,
and
co-host
of
Thinking
Like
A
Lawyer.
AtL
tipsters
are
the
best,
so
please
connect
with
her.
Feel
free
to
email
her
with
any
tips,
questions,
or
comments
and
follow
her
on
Twitter
@Kathryn1 or
Mastodon
@[email protected].