by
Alex
Wong/Getty
Images)
If
there’s
one
figure
in
American
history
who
would
not
stand
for
any
of
the
present
nonsense,
it’d
be
Thomas
Paine.
The
revolutionary
pamphleteer
hated
the
idea
of
monarchs
trampling
on
people
behind
the
veil
of
absolute
immunity
so
much
that
he
followed
up
the
American
Revolution
by
rolling
over
to
France
and
getting
elected
to
the
revolutionary
government
without
knowing
how
to
speak
French.
Then
he
languished
in
prison
as
an
opponent
of
the
Robespierre
administration
and
came
home
to
write
letters
bashing
George
Washington.
Thomas
Paine
had
exactly
zero
tolerance
for
executive
bullshit.
So,
obviously,
the
author
of
Trump
v.
United
States
invoked
Paine
as
a
political
mascot
to
gaslight
the
American
people
into
thinking
any
of
this
is
normal.
Every
year,
Chief
Justice
John
Roberts
releases
his
Year-End
Report
on
the
Federal
Judiciary,
and
every
year
it
reads
like
a
college
sophomore
pulling
an
all-nighter
to
deliver
a
10-page
essay
without
doing
the
reading.
What
is
there
to
say
about
the
state
of
the
federal
judiciary
as
2025
drew
to
a
close?
A
massive
uptick
in
violent
threats
against
judges?
Multiple
instances
of
federal
government
lawyers
caught
lying
to
the
courts?
An
historic
lowpoint
for
public
faith
in
the
Supreme
Court?
Roberts
will
discuss
none
of
those
topics.
While
not
as
far
afield
as
his
2023
report,
which
devoted
several
pages
to
the
advent
of
typewriters,
the
2025
Annual
Report
provides
an
equally
empty
Temu
history
lesson,
with
Roberts
hiding
behind
the
sort
of
phony
portrait
of
Thomas
Paine’s
life
and
work
that
only
a
true
#Originalist
could
concoct.
Two
hundred
fifty
years
ago
this
week,
a
recent
immigrant
to
Britain’s
North
American
colonies
put
the
finishing
touches
on
a
manuscript
in
which
he
hoped
to
express
“plain
truths”
about
his
newly
adopted
home.
Immigrants
get
the
job
done,
eh?
Thomas
Frank
wrote
an
essay
in
the
Baffler
back
in
the
90s
suggesting
that
the
problem
with
protest
art
is
that
it’s
aesthetic
qualities
will
always
end
with
it
getting
repurposed
to
support
the
status
quo.
It’s
why
Donald
Trump
is
celebrating
dropping
bombs
on
Venezuela
to
the
tune
of
Fortunate
Son
—
a
song
explicitly
about
rich
people
sending
regular
folks
to
die
in
wars
for
their
own
personal
enrichment.
The
sad
legacy
of
Hamilton
will
almost
assuredly
be
its
cooptation
into
the
sort
of
“good
immigrant”
mythologizing
that
guys
like
Roberts
cite
while
simultaneously
nodding
gravely
at
the
unfortunate
necessity
of
Kavanaugh
stops
to
round
up
everyone
by
skin
color.
Common
Sense
was,
quite
literally,
a
screed
against
a
monarch
who
believed
he
could
do
whatever
he
wanted.
Roberts
has
spent
the
last
year
rubber-stamping
the
worldview
that
King
George’s
only
crime
was
not
replacing
William
Pitt
with
Stephen
Miller.
Professor
Steve
Vladeck,
commenting
on
the
Roberts
report,
took
a
much
more
gracious
reading
of
the
Roberts
report:
Against
that
backdrop,
the
2025
year-end
report
is
fascinating
for
its
subtleties.
Reading
between
the
lines,
one
can
find
the
Chief
Justice
of
the
United
States
standing
up
for
immigrants;
extolling
the
continuing
aspirations
of
the
Declaration
of
Independence;
and
reiterating
the
importance
of
judicial
independence—three
messages
that
are
certainly
welcome
as
we
look
ahead
to
the
second
year
of
the
second
Trump
administration.
The
problem,
though,
is
that
one
has
to
read
between
the
lines
to
find
those
takeaways.
Given
the
year
that
just
transpired—not
just
the
substantive
behavior
of
the
executive
branch
but
its
unprecedented
hostility
toward,
threats
against,
and
defiance
of
federal
judges—this
would’ve
been
a
golden
opportunity
for
Chief
Justice
Roberts
to
make
the
kind
of
statement
that
might’ve
resonated
across
the
political/ideological
spectrum.
By
opting
for
subtlety,
it
seems
worth
asking
exactly
who
the
Chief
Justice
views
as
his
audience
these
days.
Not
only
am
I
increasingly
unsure
of
the
answer,
but,
far
more
importantly,
I
wonder
if
he
might
be,
too.
It
would
be
nice
if
Roberts
were
just
too
weak
and
subtle
to
meet
the
moment.
But
Chuck
Schumer
already
has
that
job.
Where
Vladeck
sees
positive
signals,
I
see
the
ongoing
effort
to
recast
American
history
to
support
the
contemporary
right-wing
political
project
that
Roberts
has
worked
to
impose
on
the
country.
Paine
is
a
prop.
This
report
is
filled
with
props.
When
James
Clavell
wasn’t
writing
thousand-page
doorstops
about
feudal
Japan,
he
put
out
a
short
story
about
the
path
to
fascism
being
paved
by
rituals
like
the
Pledge
of
Allegiance.
Tyrants
can’t
just
roll
in
and
make
people
forget
what
their
country
is
all
about,
but
they
can
systematically
repurpose
symbols
when
they’ve
become
deified
by
unquestioning
masses.
Paine
—
a
hero!
—
inspired
the
Declaration
of
Independence.
Everyone
knows
that
the
Declaration
of
Independence
is
“good,”
right?
But
before
anyone
tries
to
draw
any
broad
conclusions
about
the
Framers
opposing
occupying
troops
flooding
the
streets,
remember
the
Declaration,
for
all
its
“good”-ness,
is
merely
ancillary.
This
may
come
as
a
surprise
to
some
readers.
But,
as
Justice
Scalia
observed,
the
Declaration
consists
of
“aspirations”
and
“philosophizing”
that
do
not
lend
themselves
well
to
prescription
or
enforcement.
When
rights
are
inconvenient,
they
always
become
“aspirational.”
But
Roberts
does
acknowledge
the
Reconstruction
Amendments
for
attempting
to
convert
the
Declaration’s
promises
into
something
concrete.
That
work
began
with
the
Thirteenth
Amendment
abolishing
slavery.
Lincoln
lived
to
see
that
amendment
pass
both
the
Senate
and
the
House,
though
it
was
not
ratified
until
after
his
assassination.
As
the
British
philosopher
John
Stuart
Mill
observed,
with
the
adoption
of
the
Thirteenth
Amendment,
“the
opening
words
of
the
Declaration
of
Independence”
would
no
longer
be
“a
reproach
to
the
nation
founded
by
its
authors.”
The
Fourteenth
and
Fifteenth
Amendments
soon
followed,
guaranteeing
due
process
and
equal
protection
of
the
law
and
granting
the
right
to
vote
to
Black
men.
Note
how
the
abolition
of
slavery
gets
top
billing
and
the
“actual
promise
of
equality
and
the
right
to
vote”
are
relegated
to
afterthoughts.
That’s
a
feature
not
a
bug
for
the
guy
who
declared
racism
a
thing
of
the
past
while
gutting
the
Voting
Rights
Act.
This
is
another
juncture
where
I
hope
optimists
like
Vladeck
are
right,
but
suspect
they
are
not.
Roberts
isn’t
sending
a
coded
message
that
this
Court
will
respect
the
promises
of
the
Reconstruction
Amendments,
he’s
telling
us
that
this
Court
“respects”
those
constitutional
principles
and
anyone
who
suggests
otherwise
misunderstands
the
line
between
aspiration
and
reality.
It’s
Clavell’s
Pledge
of
Allegiance
all
over
again:
you
know
we
believe
in
the
Fifteenth
Amendment…
so
when
we
say
it
means
the
executive
branch
can
purge
state
voter
rolls
based
on
race
it’s
only
because
we
believe
in
it
so
much.
Roberts
closes
the
report
by
assuring
us
that
the
Constitution
and
Declaration
“remain
firm
and
unshaken,”
quoting
Great
Depression
architect
Calvin
Coolidge.
This
is
framed
as
offering
solace
to
the
public,
but
it’s
the
opiate.
The
fixed
stars
of
the
American
constellation
are
firm
and
unshaken
because
it’s
un-American
to
question
whether
political
operatives
using
the
Court
to
erase
a
century
—
or
more
—
of
precedent
might
shake
those
foundations.
Joyce
Vance
noted
that
the
report
opens
with
a
photo
of
an
empty
room,
an
appropriate
choice
for
a
report
casting
American
legal
history
as
empty
signifiers
to
be
filled
in
by
his
majority.
Maybe
that’s
not
what
he’s
trying
to
say.
But
if
it’s
not,
he’s
invited
to
drop
the
subtlety
and
write
something
straightforward
and
principled.
Like
Tom
Paine
would’ve.
(Report
on
the
next
page…)
Earlier:
Chief
Justice
John
Roberts
Thinks
You’re
Stupid
And
He’s
Probably
Right
John
Roberts
Once
Again
Uses
Judiciary’s
Annual
Report
To
Express
His
Utmost
Contempt
For
The
Public
Chief
Justice’s
Annual
Report
Recounts
65-Year-Old
Tale
Of
Judicial
Heroism
To
Remind
You
There
Isn’t
Any
Today
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