You
have
the
right
to
remain
silent,
Alan
Dershowitz.
No
one
is
making
you
run
to
the
Wall
Street
Journal
and
remind
us
again
that
you
are
up
to
your
underpants
—
which
you
never
took
off!
—
in
the
Jeffrey
Epstein
mess.
Four
years
ago,
when
Dersh
was
a
sprightly
81-year-old,
we
opined
that
someone
who
loved
him
should
take
his
phone
and
throw
it
into
the
ocean.
Quick!
Do
it
now,
while
he’s
weeping
in
the
waves
that
no
one
wants
to
join
him
for
a
no-pants
picnic
at
his
favorite
nude
beach
on
Martha’s
Vineyard!
If
this
guy
would
just
STFU
for
ten
minutes,
maybe
people
would
forget
about
the
role
he
played
in
getting
Epstein
that
disgraceful
plea
deal
in
Florida.
Or
that
Dersh
characterized
Epstein’s
child
victims
as
prostitutes.
Or
that
he
engaged
in
a
years-long
flame
war
with
one
of
those
victims,
the
late
Virginia
Giuffre,
and
her
lawyer,
David
Boies.
Sadly,
it
was
not
meant
to
be.
Instead
Dersh
spent
the
past
four
years
selling
himself
as
some
kind
of
apostate
liberal
and
shilling
for
pillow
pumping
loons
like
Mike
Lindell.
So
it’s
not
exactly
surprising
that
at
the
very
moment
the
flames
of
the
scandal
threaten
to
engulf
the
Trump
administration,
the
professor
is
racing
in
from
stage
right,
stripping
down
to
his
skivvies
and
diving
into
the
fire.
The
WSJ
piece
promises
“The
Inside
Scoop
on
Jeffrey
Epstein.”
“I
was
his
lawyer.
I
know
things
that
court
orders
won’t
allow
me
to
disclose,”
he
vamps
in
the
subhed.
But
like
an
aging
burlesque
dancer,
he
leans
heavy
into
winking
titillation,
covering
up
the
bits
that
might
offend
his
viewers’
delicate
sensibilities.
Dershowitz
says
there
is
no
“client
list,”
and
also
no
one
you
know
is
on
it:
Epstein
never
created
a
“client
list.”
The
FBI
interviewed
alleged
victims
who
named
several
“clients.”
These
names
have
been
redacted.
They
should
be
disclosed
but
the
courts
have
ordered
them
sealed.
I
know
who
they
are.
They
don’t
include
any
current
officeholders.
Last
week,
the
DOJ
said
that
“The
files
relating
to
Epstein
include
a
large
volume
of
images
of
Epstein,
images
and
videos
of
victims
who
are
either
minors
or
appear
to
be
minors,
and
over
ten
thousand
downloaded
videos
and
images
of
illegal
child
sex
abuse
material
and
other
pornography.”
But
Dersh
says
that
the
only
tapes
“are
of
public
areas
of
his
Palm
Beach,
Fla.,
home,”
and
the
camera
was
installed
by
cops
after
a
burglary.
He
did
not
say
when
he
made
this
discovery.
Dershowitz
says
that
President
Trump
is
pure
and
innocent,
Epstein
was
never
a
Mossad
agent
according
to
“my
sources
in
Israel,”
and
the
notorious
pedophile
probably
killed
himself
after
being
deliberately
left
alone
by
his
jailers.
He
did
not
repeat
his
prior
tirade
against
age
of
consent
laws.
Instead
he
tut-tutted
about
“gossip
mongers”
annoyed
when
“stubborn
facts
(or
the
absence
of
facts)
get
in
the
way
of
a
juicy
theory.”
“Sorry
to
disappoint
you,
but
there
is
really
nothing
much
to
see
here,
beyond
what
has
already
been
disclosed,”
he
concluded,
reminding
us
all
that
he’s
got
nothing
to
say,
and
he’s
going
to
keep
saying
it
in
our
faces
as
long
as
he’s
able.
Liz
Dye lives
in
Baltimore
where
she
produces
the
Law
and
Chaos substack and podcast.