Police
just
added
a
new
weapon
to
their
arsenal:
incredibly
stupid
people
being
way
too
comfortable
confessing
their
secrets
to
the
robot
in
their
pocket.
When
tech
bro
evangelists
sell
the
world
on
the
productivity
accelerating
power
of
the
technological
terrors
they’ve
constructed
—
despite
their
sad
devotion
to
the
large-language
hype
train
not
helping
them
conjure
up
measurable
productivity
gains
—
they
hype
cancer
cures
and
a
future
without
junior
associates.
Instead,
they’ve
built
a
Robo-Diary
for
dumb
criminals
to
write,
“will
I
go
to
jail
for
smashing
up
these
cars?”
It’s
a
slightly
slicker
Magic
8-Ball
and
all
it
cost
is
a
267%
increase
in
electricity
prices.
According
to
OzarksFirst,
authorities
have
charged
a
teenager
with
vandalizing
17
cars
in
the
Missouri
State
University
parking
lot.
But
Ocean’s
Eleven,
this
was
not,
as
the
kid
decided
to
spend
the
evening
chatting
away
with
ChatGPT
about
the
vandalism,
essentially
drafting
his
own
confession
in
the
style
of
a
late-night
therapy
session
with
HAL
9000.
This
proved
a
sub-optimal
strategy,
as
Miranda
does
not
provide
the
right
to
ask
a
stochastic
parrot
if
smashing
a
Camry
is
a
felony
The
SPD
also
later
reviewed
data
from
Schaefer’s
phone,
which
placed
the
phone
near
the
parking
lot
at
2:49
a.m.
on
the
night
of
the
vandalism
and
later
near
his
apartment
at
4:04
a.m.,
the
statement
says.Additionally,
the
statement
also
details
a
ChatGPT
conversation
recovered
from
Schaefer’s
phone.The
ChatGPT
exchange
began
around
3:47
a.m.
on
Aug.
28,
about
10
minutes
after
the
vandalism
allegedly
ended.In
the
chat,
the
user
—
identified
by
the
SPD
as
Schaefer
—
described
damaging
vehicles
and
asked
if
he
could
go
to
jail.
The
statement
includes
multiple
excerpts
in
which
the
user
admitted
to
“smash(ing)”
cars,
referenced
MSU’s
parking
lot
and
made
violent
statements.The
statement
says
ChatGPT
urged
the
user
to
“seek
help.”
The
messages
stopped
later
that
morning.
Astounding.
Remember
when
people
used
to
warn
teenagers
that
anything
they
put
on
Facebook
would
follow
them
forever?
Did
we
just
lose
all
that
energy
when
Facebook
changed
to
Meta
and
tried
to
build
bargain
bin
Second
Life?
But
instead
of
drunk
dorm
photos,
it’s
“Dear
ChatGPT,
today
at
approximately
3:32
a.m.,
I
killed
Mr.
Boddy
in
the
Conservatory
with
the
Lead
Pipe,
please
format
this
for
an
eventual
affidavit.”
Much
like
the
rise
of
case
cite
hallucinations,
the
problem
here
isn’t
technological,
it’s
psychological.
It’s
not
ChatGPT’s
fault,
unless
you
assign
highly
indirect
blame
for
the
product
seducing
people
to
indulge
their
existing
bad
impulses.
ChatGPT
doesn’t
fill
the
filed
brief
with
fake
cases,
a
human
lawyer
did
that
because
they
thought
they
could
get
away
with
not
following
up
on
the
research
spit
out
by
glorified
autocomplete.
By
the
same
price
per
token,
it’s
not
ChatGPT’s
fault
that
a
vandal
would
think
their
phone
can
replace
a
lawyer
(or
a
priest).
Sam
Altman
already
pointed
out
the
technology
lacks
any
form
of
privilege.
“If
you
talk
to
a
therapist
or
a
lawyer
or
a
doctor
about
those
problems,
there’s
legal
privilege
for
it,”
Altman
said
back
in
July.
“There’s
doctor-patient
confidentiality, there’s
legal
confidentiality,
whatever.
And
we
haven’t
figured
that
out
yet
for
when
you
talk
to
ChatGPT.
I
think
that’s
very
screwed
up.
I
think
we
should
have
the
same
concept
of
privacy
for
your
conversations
with
AI
that
we
do
with
a
therapist
or
whatever.”
Counter:
No,
we
absolutely
should
not.
Lawyers
and
therapists
and
priests
trigger
privileges
because
they
are
human
professionals
and,
as
a
society,
we
see
a
value
in
encouraging
people
to
be
candid
with
them.
By
contrast,
we
need
people
to
be
a
whole
lot
less
candid
with
their
AI
bots.
The
family
of
a
child
who
died
by
suicide
is
already
suing
OpenAI
alleging
that
the
bot
crowded
out
support
networks
and
discouraged
seeking
professional
help.
We
need
to
do
everything
possible
to
dissuade
people
from
thinking
AI
can
replace
trained
professionals.
The
AI
people
want
users
to
believe
their
conversations
are
privileged
because
the
industry
runs
on
surveillance
capitalism.
Every
keystroke
is
data,
and
data
is
product.
They
want
you
to
tell
them
that
you
robbed
a
bank
so
they
can
target
ads
for
bus
tickets
to
Zihuatanejo.
Or
at
least
use
it
to
train
a
future
Agentic
AI
to
respond
to
“I
plan
to
commit
a
robbery”
by
generating
a
workflow,
tracing
out
all
the
steps,
performing
several
research
projects
and
then…
telling
the
user
about
“10
famous
people
named
Rob,”
which
would
actually
be
remarkably
accurate
for
an
Agentic
AI
based
on
multiple
studies.
In
any
event,
we
shouldn’t
let
these
companies
dupe
more
people
into
thinking
it
replaces
professionals.
It
streamlines
some
key
workplace
tasks.
It’s
actually
very
good
at
streamlining
those
tasks.
But
it’s
not
a
replacement
for
human
judgment
and
we
should
hold
the
line
at
giving
anyone
any
more
reason
to
think
that
it
can.
ChatGPT,
cell
data
help
arrest
Springfield
teen
for
MSU
parking
lot
vandalism
[OzarksFirst]
Joe
Patrice is
a
senior
editor
at
Above
the
Law
and
co-host
of
Thinking
Like
A
Lawyer.
Feel
free
to email
any
tips,
questions,
or
comments.
Follow
him
on Twitter or
Bluesky
if
you’re
interested
in
law,
politics,
and
a
healthy
dose
of
college
sports
news.
Joe
also
serves
as
a
Managing
Director
at
RPN
Executive
Search.