A Free Speech Case Over A Dog Toy? Okay, I’ll Bite. – Above the Law

How
ought
the
government
regulate
goofing
around?
It
is
a
serious
question
with
constitutional
import.
Take,
for
example,
the
time
that
a
man
was
arrested
for

poking
some
likely
deserved
fun
at
a
police
department
.
Cut
and
clear
violation
of
this
man’s
right
to
free
speech,
right?
Well,
the
Supreme
Court
decided
not
to
weigh
in
on
that.
However,
they
may
answer
some
of
the
remaining
questions
surrounding
how
protected
the
right
to
speech
as
parody
is
soon.
From
Reuters:

A
trademark
dispute
over
a
poop-themed
dog
toy
shaped
like
a
Jack
Daniel’s
whiskey
bottle
coming
before
the
U.S.
Supreme
Court
could
redefine
how
the
judiciary
applies
constitutional
free
speech
rights
to
trademark
law.

In
case to
be
argued
on
Wednesday,
the
nine
justices
are
expected
to
use
this
legal
dogfight
to
clarify
the
line
between
a
parody
protected
by
the
U.S.
Constitution’s
First
Amendment
and
a
trademark-infringing
ripoff,
with
repercussions
extending
beyond
booze
and
pet
accessories.
A
ruling
is
due
by
the
end
of
June.

Deciding
to
take
a
case
about
a
dog
toy
maker
and
a
liquor
company
is
obviously
less
politically
charged
than
a
guy
ridiculing
the
executive
branch.
Nonetheless,
it
is
still
an
occasion
for
caution.
This
wouldn’t
be
the
first
time
the
YOLO
Court
throws
down
a
constitutional
decision
that
has
unexpected
implications
for
other
areas

remember
that
time
when
SCOTUS
overthrew

Roe

and
it
made
people
really
uneasy
about
the
future
of
their
interracial
marriages?
It
would
be
naïve
to
assume
that
this
case
about
booze
and
pet
accessories
is
just
a
case
about
booze
and
pet
accessories.

“This
is
an
interesting
case
because
it’s
a
court
that
does
care
about
the
First
Amendment
but
also
cares
about
business,”
said
Elizabeth
Brannen,
a
partner
at
the
law
firm
Stris
&
Maher
who
has
worked
on
intellectual
property
cases
before
the
Supreme
Court.
“And
this
is
a
case
where
those
interests
intersect
in
a
way
that’s
kind
of
hard
to
sort
out.”

The
toy
mimics
Lynchburg,
Tennessee-based
Jack
Daniel’s
famous
whiskey
bottles
with
humorous
dog-themed
alterations

replacing
“Old
No.
7”
with
“the
Old
No.
2,
on
your
Tennessee
Carpet”
and
alcohol
descriptions
with
“43%
Poo
By
Vol.”
and
“100%
Smelly.”

“Jack
Daniel’s
loves
dogs
and
appreciates
a
good
joke
as
much
as
anyone,”
the
company
told
the
justices
in
a
brief.
“But
Jack
Daniel’s
likes
its
customers
even
more,
and
doesn’t
want
them
confused
or
associating
its
fine
whiskey
with
dog
poop.”

It
is
easy
to
just
look
at
the
company’s
response,
appreciate
its
even-handedness
and
move
on,
but
let’s
be
real
here.
Here
are
the
bottles:

If
Jack
Daniel’s
customers
are
at
the
point
of
“confusing”
the
bottle
on
the
left
for
the
bottle
of
the
right,
they’ve
already
drank
too
much
of
the
stuff.
I
have
bought
my
fair
share
of
whisky
and
whiskey
to
boot.
I’ve
never
shopped
for
my
spirits
at
PetSmart,
nor
my
local
supermarket’s
squeaky
toy
aisle.
Does
Jack
Daniel’s

really

expect
the
Court
to
buy
not
only
that
there
is
some
consumer
out
there
who

despite
expecting
the
heft
of
a
glass
liquor
bottle

will
just
shrug
their
shoulders
when
their
booze-to-be
feels
oddly
reminiscent
of
an
elementary
school
football
and
has
the
word
carpet
at
the
base,
but
that
there
are
enough
of
these
bozos
to
constitute
an
actual
threat
to
the
company’s
IP?

I
would
hope
that
the
Court
would
pay
heed
to
the
folks
who’ve
mastered
parody
to
the
point
that
it
has
repeatedly
been
confused
with
the
gift
of
prophesy

The
Onion.
From
an
amicus
brief
written
by
America’s
Second
Finest
News
Source:

[S]ome
forms
of
comedy
don’t
work
unless
the
comedian
is
able
to
tell
the
joke
with
a
straight
face.
Parody
is
the
quintessential
example.
Parodists
intentionally
inhabit
the
rhetorical
form
of
their
target
in
order
to
exaggerate
or
implode
it—and
by
doing
so
demonstrate
the
target’s
illogic
or
absurdity.

Put
simply,
for
parody
to
work,
it
has
to
plausibly
mimic
the
original.
The
Sixth
Circuit’s
decision
in
this
case
would
condition
the
First
Amendment’s
protection
for
parody
upon
a
requirement
that
parodists
explicitly
say,
up-front,
that
their
work
is
nothing
more
than
an
elaborate
fiction.
But
that
would
strip
parody
of
the
very
thing
that
makes
it
function.

What
happens
if
the
Court
decides
for
Jack
Daniel’s?
Presumably,
they’d
win
that
the
shape
of
the
bottle
and
maybe
the
placement
of
their
stickers
are
so
essentially
Danielsian
that
any
encroachment
upon
their
form
would
be
to
violate
their
property
right.
What
about
a
parody
that
is
more
business
than
pleasure?
Say
someone
wanted
to
use
parody
to
draw
attention
to
arguments
that
Jack
Daniel’s
might
be
one
of
the
names
that
people
think
of

when
they
think
about
reparations
,
what
then?
Why
stop
at
the
physical
bottles?
Would
a
joke
that
Jack
Daniel’s
whiskey
is
so
shitty
that
my
dog
has

an
evolutionary
impulse
to
eat
it

when
I
pour
it
in
the
back
yard
risk
“associating
its
fine
whiskey
with
dog
poop”
enough
for
me
to
get
sued?
Because
I
will
make
that
joke.
Out
of
spite.
Because
that
is
what
whiskey
drinkers
do.
You
think
I

enjoy

drinking
the
brown
hell-water
Jack
Daniel’s
sells
neat?
No.
But
I
drink
it
anyway.
As
a
matter
of
principle.


In
U.S.
Supreme
Court
Jack
Daniel’s
Case,
A
Free
Speech
Fight
Over
A
Dog
Toy

[Reuters]


Earlier:


This
Toy
Company
May
Have
Just
Barked
Up
The
Wrong
Whiskey-Saturated
Tree


First
As
Parody,
Then
As
Free
Speech:
The
Onion
Goes
To
The
Supreme
Court.
It’s
About
As
Awesome
As
You’d
Suspect.



Chris
Williams
became
a
social
media
manager
and
assistant
editor
for
Above
the
Law
in
June
2021.
Prior
to
joining
the
staff,
he
moonlighted
as
a
minor
Memelord™
in
the
Facebook
group Law
School
Memes
for
Edgy
T14s
.
 He
endured
Missouri
long
enough
to
graduate
from
Washington
University
in
St.
Louis
School
of
Law.
He
is
a
former
boatbuilder
who
cannot
swim, a
published
author
on
critical
race
theory,
philosophy,
and
humor
,
and
has
a
love
for
cycling
that
occasionally
annoys
his
peers.
You
can
reach
him
by
email
at cwilliams@abovethelaw.com and
by
tweet
at @WritesForRent.

There Will Be Blood – Above the Law

The
indictment
will
be
sealed,
so
the
public
won’t
know
its
contents
until
either
Trump
is
arraigned
or
someone
leaks
information.

Then,
all
hell
will
break
loose.

Trump’s
started
chiseling
around
the
corners
of
hell
already,
asking
on
social
media
that
his
supporters
“protest”
on
his
behalf.
If
Trump
were
asking
for
peaceful
protests,
that
would
be
fine.
But
January
6
should
make
any
sentient
person
question
if
that’s
what
he’s
doing.
Now
Trump’s
expected
to
hold
a
rally
in
Waco,
Texas,
on
March
25,
a
time
that
marks
the
30th
anniversary
of
the
siege
at
the

Branch
Davidian
compound
.

That’s
just
the
start.
What
will
Trump
say
in
Waco?
What
will
he
say
at
the
rallies
after
that?
What
will
his
social
media
posts
advocate
after
it
sinks
in
that
he’s
facing
jail
time?

Folks
who
used
to
work
in
the
Manhattan
DA’s
office
claim
to
be
calm:
The
Manhattan
DA
has
handled
high-profile
cases
before.
All
of
the
people
involved
are
professionals.
The
security
personnel
know
how
to
handle
these
things.
We
routinely
handle
gang-murder
cases.
Don’t
worry.

Nonsense.

This
case
is
different.


You
heard
it
here
a
year
and
a
half
ago
,
and
I’m
saying
it
again
today:
There
will
be
blood.

Maybe
the
Manhattan
DA’s
office
has
handled
gang-murder
cases
before.
I
wouldn’t
know.
I
never
heard
the
names
of
the
gang
members,
or
the
murderers,
or
the
victims,
or
the
witnesses,
or
the
judges
in
those
cases.

Isn’t
the
Trump
situation
a
little
different?

I
know
the
name
Trump.
And
Michael
Cohen.
And
Stormy
Daniels.
And
Allen
Weisselberg
(the
Trump
Organization’s
CFO).
And
I
could
learn
in
a
heartbeat
all
the
other
players
and
witnesses.
The
Manhattan
DA
himself,
Alvin
Bragg,
has
been
speaking
about
this
publicly,
and
Trump
has
been
dragging
Bragg’s
name
through
the
mud.

We’ll
soon
know
the
names
of
the
prosecutors,
and
the
name
of
the
judge.
We’ll
know
the
names
of
the
investigators.
We’ll
know
the
dates
and
times
of
hearings.

Who
are
the
police
and
FBI
going
to
protect?
The
judge,
around
the
clock,
for
months?
The
prosecutors,
around
the
clock,
for
months?
Michael
Cohen,
and
the
other
key
witnesses,
around
the
clock,
for
months?
The
grand
jurors,
if
their
names
leak?
The
petit
jurors,
when
the
time
comes,
and
if
their
names
leak?

Moreover,
when
the
FBI
searched
Mar-a-Lago,
someone
attacked
an
FBI
office
in
Cincinnati,
which
had
nothing
to
do
with
the
raid
but
simply
housed
part
of
the
FBI.
Who
knows
what
attacks
in
unexpected
places
will
be
triggered
by
calls
for
“protests”?

And
this
is
a
case
that
will
last
for
months,
at
a
minimum,
in
the
pretrial
stages,
as
Trump
raises
statute
of
limitation
issues,
and
challenges
to
legal
theories,
and
the
rest.
The
filing
of
every
brief,
and
the
ruling
on
every
motion,
will
be
covered
by
MSNBC
and
Fox.
Trump
will
either
rage
or
appeal,
or
both,
depending
on
the
available
options.

Trump
will
repeatedly
be
telling
his
supporters
that
the
prosecutors
are
coming
after
him
first
and
his
supporters
next.
We
know
that
some
fraction
of
those
supporters
can
be
motivated
to
violence,
as
January
6
demonstrated.

There
will
be
blood.

This
raises
two
related
questions:

First,
should
America
be
intimidated?

You
may
or
may
not
think
that
this
indictment
is
a
good
idea.
Maybe
a
former
president
shouldn’t
be
prosecuted
for
allegedly
cooking
his
company’s
books
and
committing
campaign
finance
violations.
Maybe
it’s
a
dangerous
precedent
to
let
one
of
hundreds
of
elected
state
prosecutors
decide
whether
to
pursue
a
prominent
person
in
an
opposing
political
party.
Maybe
there
are
other,
more
important
crimes
to
prosecute
in
New
York.

But
once
a
prosecutor
announces
a
case,
should
the
former
president’s
likely
attempts
to
incite
violence
cause
the
country
to
lose
its
nerve?
Or
should
we
stand
firm
once
the
indictment
is
announced
and
Trump
intensifies
his
campaign
of
intimidation?

Second,
what
the
heck
is
about
to
happen
to
the
Republican
Party?
All
the
pundits
seem
to
think
that
the
indictment
will
help
Trump
politically,
even
if
it
hurts
him
personally.
Maybe
so.
But
what
about
people
other
than
Trump?
I
assume
those
who
have
been
standing
by
Trump
to
date
will
hold
the
line,
saying
that
the
indictment
is
a
politically
motivated
witch
hunt.
But
Trump’s
case
may
reach
trial
before
the
election;
Trump
may
well
be
convicted;
it’s
hard
to
see
a
convicted
felon
winning
a
race
for
the
presidency.

What
will
Republicans
do
then?

Will
enough
of
the
Republican
Party
abandon
Trump
to
permit
the
emergence
of
a
new
conservative
party,
dedicated
to
principles
instead
of
a
person?

Maybe
some
good
will
ultimately
come
from
this.

But
first,
there
will
be
blood.




Mark 
Herrmann spent
17
years
as
a
partner
at
a
leading
international
law
firm
and
is
now
deputy
general
counsel
at
a
large
international
company.
He
is
the
author
of




The
Curmudgeon’s
Guide
to
Practicing
Law
 and Drug
and
Device
Product
Liability
Litigation
Strateg
y (affiliate
links).
You
can
reach
him
by
email
at 
inhouse@abovethelaw.com.

You, Too, Can ‘Recession Proof’ Your Firm. Here’s How.  – Above the Law



Are
we
heading
into
a
recession?
Nobody
seems
to
know. 


But
some
of
your
clients
are
probably
making
business
decisions
as
if
we’re
already
in
one. 


So
what
capabilities
should
your
firm
be
aware
of? 


Here,
we
present
“recession-proofing”
steps
enabled
by
new
technology

courtesy
of
the
tech
experts
who

joined
a
recent
Non-Eventcast


1)
You
Can
Embed
Payment
Processing
Directly
Into
Your
Platform


The
easiest
way
to
thrive
is
simply
to
make
more
money. 


And
new
technology
can
help
you
collect
more
of
your
accounts
receivable

particularly
as
practice
management
software
increasingly
includes
native
payment
processing. 


These
features
include
sending
an
invoice
to
a
client
that
includes
a
link
to
make
a
payment,
including
payment
links
in
portals,
and
texting
payment
reminders,
noted
Marie
Burgess
of
Paradigm.


“There
are
a
number
of
options
that
make
it
super-easy,
and
the
easier
you
make
it,
the
more
likely
you
are
to
get
paid.” 


(Are
you
considering
an
upgrade
to
your
workflow?

Download
our
brand
new
Practice
Management
Buyer’s
Guide
today

to
see
just
how
easy
and
cost
effective
this
can
be.)


2)
You
Can
Maximize
Billable
Time


Before
you
can
collect
your
accounts
receivable,
you
need
to
generate
the
billable
work
itself.


Law
practice
management
software
can
help
you
maximize
the
time
that
is
billable
by
taking
care
of
administrative
work.
This
will
allow
you
to
make
more
money
in
the
first
place,
notes
Blake
Roberts
of
Lawmatics.


“With
the
practice
management
systems
and
software
solutions
out
there

the
automation,
the
online
payments

making
things
as
flexible
and
easy
as
possible,
removing
every
bit
of
friction
for
the
firm
and
their
client
is
the
best
recession-proof
tactic
I
think
firms
can
use.” 


3)
You
Can
Move
Faster


While
an
economic
downturn
could
lead
to
increased
legal
work
in
certain
areas,
it
would
also
make
speedy
client
service
a
top
priority. 


The
pandemic
highlighted
the
importance
of
client
communication

especially
clients’
need
for
immediate
answers,
noted
Joshua
Hostilo
of
Filevine. 


Similarly,
during
times
of
uncertainty,
clients
need
increased
responsiveness
from
all
aspects
of
their
legal
services.


“The
clients
are
still
looking
to
make
money,
and
to
get
money
as
quickly
as
possible,
and
so
with
automations
and
the
ability
to
move
the
case
along
at
a
quicker
pace

I
believe
that
is
part
of
moving
forward
amid
inflation
and
financial
uncertainties,”
he
said.  


4)
You
Can
Make
It
Easier
to
Onboard
New
Lawyers


Preparing
for
economic
downturns
also
means
preparing
for
increased
job
movement. 


In
addition
to
automation
and
the
items
mentioned
above,
firms
should
use
case
management
software
to
develop
“work
plans”
or
“rules”
that
can
guide
new
lawyers
through
your
processes,
according
to
Igor
Selizhuk
of
SmartAdvocate.


“So
if
you
do
get
a
new
employee
they
can
handle
the
case
without
spending
years,
weeks
or
months
learning
how
to
process
a
case,”
he
says. 


Download
Now


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filling
out
the
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you
are
opting
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to
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Above
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its
partners.

Black Paralegal Mistaken For Drug Dealer Left ‘Humiliated’ By Encounter With Police – Above the Law

A
Black
paralegal
is
speaking
out
after
a
racial
profiling
incident
by
police
left
him
feeling
“vulnerable
and
targeted.”

This
story
comes
to
us
from

Legal
Cheek
,
a
legal
website
that’s
based
across
the
pond
in
England.
According
to
LC,
Eldred
Taylor-Camara,
a
caseworker
for
a
London-based
solicitors
firm,
was
traveling
by
train
when
several
British
Transport
Police
(BTP)
stopped
him
for
questioning
and
searched
him
because
he
“look[ed]
suspicious.”
Here
are
the
details:

When
he
asked
the
officers
for
an
explanation
as
to
why
they
had
stopped
him,
Taylor-Camara
says
they
told
him
he
looked
“lost”
which
“raised
their
suspicion”.

The
paralegal,
who
was
wearing
a
suit
at
the
time,
said
the
experience
made
him
feel
“felt
vulnerable
and
targeted,”
and
that
he
was
“concerned
by
the
glaring
mistakes”
by
officers
“purportedly
acting
on
intelligence”.

The
police
said
they
had
received
“intelligence”
and
that
the
aspiring
lawyer
matched
the
description
of
an
“extremely
violent”
drug
dealer
in
the
area.

However,
Taylor-Camara
believes
that
he
was
racially
profiled
and
that
police
failed
to
provide
a
“robust
explanation”
as
to
why
he
was
stopped
for
“extensive
questioning”.

Taylor-Camara
said
the
police
run-in
“unnerving,”
and
it
“showed
the
disassociation
of
the
police
between
themselves
and
those
in
the
public
who
are
likely
to
encounter
this
kind
of
treatment

specifically,
people
who
are
Black
and
male.”
He
continued,
saying,
“Due
to
the
conduct
of
the
officers
and
the
inadequacy
of
the
response
to
my
complaint,
the
only
plausible
rationale
that
I
could
draw
at
the
time
is
I
was
stopped
because
I
am
a
young
Black
man.”

Taylor-Camara
filed
a
complaint
with
BTP,
but
to
no
avail.
It
said:
“The
conduct
of
the
officers
left
me
feeling
intimidated
and
publicly
humiliated.
Despite
my
formal
attire
and
explanation
that
I
worked
for
a
solicitor’s
firm,
I
was
treated
with
suspicion
and
subjected
to
extensive
questioning.”

BTP
offered
this
statement,
in
relevant
part,
following
Taylor-Camara’s
decision
to
go
public
with
his
treatment:

“Following
the
stop
a
complaint
was
received
and,
as
with
every
complaint
we
receive,
was
subjected
to
a
thorough
investigation
by
our
Professional
Standards
Department
(PSD).
Body
worn
footage
of
the
stop
was
reviewed
by
senior
officers
and
accounts
were
taken
from
all
the
officers
involved.
The
result
of
this
investigation
was
that
the
service
provided
was
acceptable
and
no
further
action
was
taken.

Our
officers
who
patrol
the
railway
and
engage
with
passengers
every
day
are
not
there
to
cause
distress,
but
to
ensure
everyone
is
safe
and
that
the
network
remains
a
hostile
environment
for
offenders
to
operate
in.
Stopping
passengers
to
speak
to
them
is
part
and
parcel
of
that,
and
we
will
always
provide
our
full
rationale
for
doing
so.”

In
comments
given
to

The
Independent
,
Taylor-Camara
said,
“The
most
important
thing
for
me
is
spreading
awareness
about
this
issue.
For
those
who
experience
it,
I’m
aware
that
this
is
nothing
new.
However,
for
those
who
are
trying
to
pursue
a
professional
career,
thinking
it
affords
them
protection
from
being
profiled

I
want
them
to
be
aware
that
this
is
still
a
possibility.
It’s
important
to
highlight
this
reality,
so
it
informs
others.”


Black
paralegal
‘felt
vulnerable
and
targeted’
after
being
stopped
by
police
on
the
way
to
visit
client

[Legal
Cheek]

Black
trainee
solicitor
stopped
by
police
for
‘looking
suspicious’
on
way
to
meet
client

[The
Independent]



Staci ZaretskyStaci
Zaretsky
 is
a
senior
editor
at
Above
the
Law,
where
she’s
worked
since
2011.
She’d
love
to
hear
from
you,
so
please
feel
free
to

email

her
with
any
tips,
questions,
comments,
or
critiques.
You
can
follow
her
on

Twitter

or
connect
with
her
on

LinkedIn
.

Nexl, A No-Data-Entry CRM Platform for Law Firms, Raises $4M


Nexl
,
a
no-data-entry
CRM
platform
for
lawyers,
has
raised
$4
million
in
a
financing
round
led
by
Australian-based
B2B
venture
capital
firm

EVP

with
follow-on
participation
from

The
Legal
Tech
Fund
,

Vulpes

and

Saniel
Ventures
.

Nexl
said
it
will
use
the
investment
to
accelerate
the
development
of
its
core
product,
increase
acquisition
efforts
in
major
markets,
and
attract
industry
talent
to
build
out
its
fast-developing
ecosystem
for
partners
and
clients
alike.

Nexl
said
its
product
is
in
use
at
more
than
100
law
firms
in
37
countries,
including
such
firms
as

Eversheds
WiersholmDentonsBartier
Perry
Polsinelli,
and Al
Tamimi
.




Read
more
about
Nexl
in
the
LawNext
Legal
Technology
directory
.


Founder
and
CEO
Philipp
Thurner

Unlike
traditional
CRM
products,
Nexl
works
by
automatically
capturing
all
of
a
lawyer’s
interactions,
including
emails
and
meetings,
and
then passively
mapping
all
relationships
and
interactions
among
firm
members,
prospects,
and
clients
on
an
ongoing
basis.

The
company
was
founded
by

Philipp
Thurner
,
who
previously
led
innovation
at
Gilbert
and
Tobin,
a
premier
Australian
corporate
law
firm.
He
had
the
goal
of
developing
a
relationship
platform
that
functions
in
environments
where
client
acquisition
activity
is
passive,
unstructured,
and
entirely
relationship
dependent.

“Relationships
are
everything
in
professional
services,
yet
the
management
of
these
relationships
usually
relies
on
decentralized
and
largely
disorganized
communication
and
information-sharing
practices,”
Thurner
said.
“Management
and
growth
teams
within
law
firms
will
generally
have
very
little
visibility
as
to
the
strength
of
individual
client
relationships
and
the
context
behind
each.”

Having
launched
its
platform
just
18
months
ago,
Nexl
said
that
raising
money
in
the
toughest
investment
climate
in
recent
memory
is
validation
of
its
thesis.

Yale Stripped Of Top Law School Honors In Purely Nonsense Ranking – Above the Law

The
moment
we
noticed
that

our
annual
bracket
challenge

would
pit
Yale
against
ASS
Law,
I
proclaimed
that
our
readers
would
make
sure
that
ASS
Law
toppled
the
perennial
law
school
champ.
And
you
did
not
disappoint.
Yale
hasn’t
folded
this
fast
since
its
administration
saw
an

opportunity
to
appease
a
recognized
hate
group
!

As
we
enter
the
first
half
of
our
second
round
of

the
naked
popularity
contest

we’ve
proposed
now
that
the
law
schools
have

decided
to
shun
U.S.
News
and
World
Report
,
we
bid
adieu
to
Yale.
Here’s
what
the
bracket
looks
like
now:

Screenshot 2023-03-19 at 9.53.30 PM

Voting
for
this
first
half
of
the
Scholarly
Sixteen
is
open
now
and
will
close
Thursday
night
at
midnight
Eastern.


(32)
ASS
Law
v.
(16)
Wash
U. 

George
Mason
is
kind
of
like
Farleigh
Dickinson,
if
Farleigh
Dickinson
were
a
transparent
enclave
of
right-wing
ideologues
funded
by
shadowy
interests
raising

serious
questions
about
the
school’s
academic
standards
.
Wash
U.
finds
itself
in
the
unusual
position
of
not
being
the
underdog
when
it
walks
into
the
elite
law
school
debate.
Can
it
put
a
stop
to
the
ASS?


(8)
UVA
v.
(9)
Berkeley

A
public
school
showdown
pits
that
popped
collars
of
UVA
against
the
patchouli-soaked
boho
shirts
of
Berkeley.
As
culture
clashes
go,
it
doesn’t
get
much
better
than
this.


(5)
Harvard
v.
(12)
Cornell

Iowa
gave
Harvard
a
brief
challenge,
but
ultimately
the
Hawkeyes
couldn’t
muster
the
trolling
energy
that
the
ASS
Law
folks
brought.
Or
maybe
Harvard
just
isn’t
as
hatable
as
Yale?
Whatever
it
is,
after
falling
to
fifth
in
last
year’s
USNWR
rankings,
Harvard
came
in
with
a
chip
on
its
shoulder
and
now
has
a
shot
at
getting
the
crown
with
its
hated
rival
knocked
out.
Cornell
dispatched
Florida
with
ease
and
braces
for
an
all
Ivy
battle.


(4)
Columbia
v.
(13)
Northwestern

You
know…
the
first
round
had
only
a
few
thousand
votes
in
each
poll,
but
I
can
actually
see
how
many
of
you
all
read
the
story
and
checked
out
the
polls
so
I
know
we
could
have
a
vote
totals
in
the
tens
of
thousands
if
you’d
just
vote.
Get
in
there
people.
No
reason
to
be
shy.
Certainly
you
have
an
opinion
on
Columbia
and
Northwestern,
right?

Anyway,
as
we
said,
voting
for
this
first
half
of
the
Sixteen
will
close
Thursday 
night
at
midnight
Eastern.
Tomorrow
we’ll
unveil
the
other
half
of
the
bracket.


HeadshotJoe
Patrice
 is
a
senior
editor
at
Above
the
Law
and
co-host
of

Thinking
Like
A
Lawyer
.
Feel
free
to email
any
tips,
questions,
or
comments.
Follow
him
on Twitter if
you’re
interested
in
law,
politics,
and
a
healthy
dose
of
college
sports
news.
Joe
also
serves
as
a

Managing
Director
at
RPN
Executive
Search
.

Introducing The ‘Reference Manual Of Legal Tech Lists’! – Above the Law


In
our
continuing
effort
to
dive
ever
deeper
into
the
various



nooks
and
crannies


of
legal
tech,
we’ve
taken
up
list
creation
by
category.  


This
approach
allows
us
to
explore
the
topics
lurking
deep
in
the
dark
recesses
of
this
world

you
know,



the
sort
you
don’t
talk
about
at
parties
.


To
introduce
the
Above
the
Law
“Reference
Manual
of
Legal
Tech
Lists,”
today
I’m
sharing
“The
10
People
You
Will
Meet
at
a
Legal
Tech
Trade
Show.” 


Stay
tuned
for
our
tour
of
all
aspects
of
the
legal
tech
world
in
the
coming
months.  


1.
The
Glutton
 


Like
most
business
conferences,
legal
tech
conferences
feature
lots
of
free
food.


I
have
definitely
seen
a
woman
shove
an
entire
plate
of
food
into
her
purse
at
a
conference,
and
then
there
was
the
dude
who
dropped
a
bunch
of
bacon-wrapped
scallops
into
his
pockets.
Look,
some
people
come
to
these
shows
just
for
the
food. 


2.
The
Swag
Gobbler


What’s
better
than
free
food?
Swag!
There
is
all
manner
of
swag
available
at
legal
tech
conferences,
and
it’s
all
there
for
the
taking.
Open
up
them
purses,
because
this
is
better
than
grabbing
50
small
hotel
shampoo
bottles
before
you
head
out
to
board
your
Delta
flight.
Let
me
tell
you:
I’ve
never
smelled
fresher
than
when
I’ve
applied
my
official
Above
the
Law
underarm
deodorant.
Never.


3.
The
Noob


There
are
always
people
at
legal
tech
conferences
who’ve
never
been
to
legal
tech
conferences
and
whose
expectations
are
wholly
unaffiliated
with
reality.
Oh,
you
thought
this
was
going
to
be
like



SXSW
,
but
for
legal?
Nope,
we’re
still
trying
to
wean
people
off
of
WordPerfect.
So,
sidle
up
to
an
empty
hotel
chair,
grab
some
passed
hors
d’oeuvres,
and
think
about
what
you’ve
done.
Maybe
next
year,
you’ll
just
get
to



Burning
Man


instead.


4.
The
Nuzzler


As
the
COVID
pandemic
continues
to
recede
into
the
rearview
mirror
of
daily
life,
people
are
getting
closer.
Like,
literally.
Remember



the
“close
talker”


(
Judge
Reinhold
)
from
Seinfield

there
are
lots
of
folks
at
legal
tech
conferences
who
are
going
to
be
replicating
that
model
of
speech.
Nuzzlers
are
also
known
to
hug

even
if
you
don’t
like
to
be
touched.
The
best
remedy:
Never
leave
your
hotel
room.
You’ve
got
cable
there,
providing
light
and
warmth,
without
any
of
the
physical
intimacy.  


5.
The
Luggage
Luggers


It’s
not
always
possible
to
align
your
checkout
time
with
the
time
in
which
you
should
be
heading
to
the
airport
to
catch
your
flight.
Now,
you’ve
got
to
drag
all
your
luggage
around



Branson


for
the
rest
of
the
afternoon.
You
can
check
it
with
the
bell
desk
for
several
hours,
but
you
still
gotta
go
pick
it
back
up
later.
So,
maybe
you
just
get
another
seat
at
lunch
for
your
American
Tourister,
you



American
Tourister
,
you. 


6.
The
Expert


You
know,
it’s
bonkers

you
wouldn’t



think


some
dude
running
a
solo
practice
off
of
spreadsheets
would
know
everything
there
is
to
know
about
legal
technology.
And,
yet,
here
we
are.
He
told
me
he’s
using
“ChatTPG”
to
write
all
his
legal
briefs
for
him
now.
My
dude

how
are
you
not



speaking


at
this
event???


7.
The
Pitchman


Everybody’s
got
something
to
sell.
I
get
it.
But,
do
you
have
to
sell
it
to



me
,
like



right
now



while
I’m
trying
to
pee,
here
at
this
low-flow
urinal.
But,
yeah:
I
would



love


to
hear
more
about
how
your
product

which
is
oddly
similar
to
about
17
other
softwares
I’ve
been
pitched
today

is
really
the
one
that’s
gonna
revolutionize
law
practice. 


8.
The
‘Positive
Vibes’
Apostle


Good
vibes,
only.
Right?
Well,
you
know:
It’s
true
that
not
every
aspect
of
every
conference
is
great.
Some
of
the
after
parties
are
lame

just
like
some
of
the
during-parties
are
lame.
Some
of
the
speakers
are
boring,
and
some
of
the
presenters
are
redundant.
Sometimes,
your
hotel
room
floods
(not
that
that’s
ever
happened
to
me).
Sometimes
somebody
brings
a
pangolin,
and
it
gets
loose
during
the
keynote
address

things
happen.
But,
the
positive
vibes
apostle
is
always
chill.
BTW

this
person
will
write
almost
all
of
the
conference
recaps
you’ll
ever
read.


9.
The
Ghoster


Quick,
you’re
at
a
lame
conference
event

what
do
you
do?
You
just
ghost.
And,
let
me
tell
you:
It’s
the
most
freeing
thing
you
can
do.
Just
bounce;
don’t
even
look
back.
Before
you
know
it,
you’ll
be
back
in
your
hotel
watching
History’s
Mysteries

(not
that
I
have
any
experience
in
doing
this).  


10.
The


Reply
Guy


Everybody’s
gotta
post
social
media
proof
of
conference
attendance.
Hey,
bro

check
out
our
booth,
which
looks
suspiciously
like
every
single
other
booth
at
this
show!
(Wow.)
We’re
not
talking
about
inspiring
social
media
content
here

I
mean,
no
one
is
 literally
curing
blindness.
So,
why
is
this
dude
all
up
in
my
mentions?
Commenting,
hashtagging,
sharing.
Yeah,
I
want
engagement,
but
not
like
this.
Not

like

this. 




Fill
out
the
form
below
to
pre-register

for
your
copy
of
the
complete
‘Reference
Manual
of
Legal
Tech
Lists,’
which
will
be
sent
to
all
registrants
later
this
year!
And
as
a
bonus,
registrants
will
receive
a
copy
of
the
Legal
Tech-to-English
Dictionary

from
Above
the
Law
and
our
friends
at
Wolters
Kluwer,
another
piece
of
our
growing
legal
tech
reference
library.


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Now


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from
Above
the
Law
and
its
partners.






Jared
Correia
,
a
consultant
and
legal
technology
expert,
is
the
host
of
the
Non-Eventcast,
the
featured
podcast
of
the
Above
the
Law
Non-Event
for
Tech-Perplexed
Lawyers. 

Biglaw Firms Swoop In To Staff ‘Emergency Rescue’ Deal To Save Another Bank From Going Under – Above the Law

It
was
one
hell
of
a
weekend
for
bankers
and
lawyers.
In
order
to
prevent
Credit
Suisse
from
joining
the
ranks
of
Silicon
Valley
Bank
and
Signature
Bank,
teams
of
legal
and
financial
advisers
worked
day
and
night
to
broker
a
historic,
government-backed
takeover
of
the
bank
by
its
former
rival,
UBS.

Now
that
Credit
Suisse
has
been
acquired
by
UBS
for
the
fire-sale
price
of
$3.2
billion,
all
of
the
lawyers
that
lined
up
in
droves
to
represent
both
banks
deserve
a
huge
round
of
applause.

According
to

Law.com
International
,
Walder
Wyss,
a
Swiss
firm,
served
as
lead
counsel
to
Credit
Suisse,
while
Sullivan
&
Cromwell
and
Cleary
Gottlieb
advised
on
the
capital
markets
and
banking
&
finance
aspects
of
the
transaction.
On
the
other
side
of
the
deal,
UBS
was
counseled
by
a
host
of
Biglaw
firms,
including
Davis
Polk
&
Wardwell,
Swiss
firm
Bar
&
Karrer,
and
Freshfields.
On
top
of
all
those
firms,
sources
say
that
Linklaters,
Latham
&
Watkins,
and
Fried
Frank
were
likely
involved
in
the
deal
as
well.

So,
what
does
this
mean
for
the
merged
banks
going
forward?

In
a
statement,
UBS
Chairman
Colm
Kelleher
commented:
“This
acquisition
is
attractive
for
UBS
shareholders
but,
let
us
be
clear,
as
far
as
Credit
Suisse
is
concerned,
this
is
an
emergency
rescue.
We
have
structured
a
transaction
which
will
preserve
the
value
left
in
the
business
while
limiting
our
downside
exposure.”

Uf
widerluege,
Credit
Suisse.
Congratulations
to
all
of
the
firms
that
helped
to
see
this
deal
through
to
the
end.


Host
of
Firms
Advise
on
Historic
UBS
Takeover
of
Credit
Suisse

[Law.com
International]



Staci ZaretskyStaci
Zaretsky
 is
a
senior
editor
at
Above
the
Law,
where
she’s
worked
since
2011.
She’d
love
to
hear
from
you,
so
please
feel
free
to

email

her
with
any
tips,
questions,
comments,
or
critiques.
You
can
follow
her
on

Twitter

or
connect
with
her
on

LinkedIn
.

Public Storytelling Is The New Networking For Lawyers – Above the Law


I
tell
a
lot
of
stories
everywhere
I
go
and
especially
on
LinkedIn.
One
of
my
recent
posts
explained
that
if
you
and
I
ever
have
a
meal,
I
will
likely
follow
you
wherever
you
want
to
go.
Unless
we
are
in
Manhattan,
where
I’ll
say,
“Let’s
go
to
Tony’s.” 


The
post
then
explains
what
makes
Tony’s
so
special
to
me.
It’s
a
story
about
making
decisions,
large
and
small,
and
how
your
personal
and
professional
lives
intertwine
to
shape
who
you
become. 


Public
storytelling
is
how
professionals
network
in
today’s
interconnected
world,
especially
as
the
boundaries
between
our
personal
and
professional
lives
continue
to
blur.
An
interesting
human
being
exists
behind
every
professional
bio
and
social
media
profile.
A
person
with
a
history
of
experiences
and
passions

someone
likely
to
share
a
story
or
idea
if
asked. 


That
someone
is
YOU!
But
why
wait
for
others
to
ask
you
to
tell
your
story?
Why
not
just
start?
You
must
put
yourself
out
there
to
be
found. 


Networking
has
gone
from
mingling
in
crowds
at
industry
events
to
purposefully
expanding
your
presence
in
your
field
to
drive
your
career
forward.
Effective
networking
today
requires
us
to
tell
our
stories
in
various
forums,
from
social
media
to
speaking
engagements
to
blogs
and
beyond. 


Embrace
Social
Media
To
Build
A
Robust
Network
Via
Storytelling


With
so
much
of
our
lives
online
today,
embracing
social
media
can
help
you
build
a
robust
network
of
colleagues
and
friends. 


Don’t
try
to
build
a
large
presence
on
every
platform
immediately.
Start
in
a
forum
where
your
clients,
friends,
and
supportive
colleagues
are.
For
lawyers,
that’s
often
LinkedIn,
though
many
lawyers
feel
more
natural
on
Twitter
or
Instagram.
Others
feel
they
belong
on
Reddit
or
Medium.
Some
blockchain
and
Web3
enthusiasts
flock
to
Discord
and
Telegram. 


Start
where
you
are
genuinely
interested
in
the
shared
experience.
This
is
how
you
wind
up
in
the
right
place
at
the
right
time
to
build
authentic
relationships
and
find
the
right
collaborators. 


You
can
always
expand
into
other
areas
when
you’re
ready.
(Or,
be
daring
and
push
yourself
out
of
your
comfort
zone
before
you
think
you’re
ready!)


5
Tips
For
Sharing
Engaging
Stories


Whether
online
or
in
person,
sharing
personal
anecdotes
that
show
your
humanity
is
much
more
engaging
than
reciting
dry
facts
and
figures
and
listing
accomplishments.
You
genuinely
connect
with
others
when
you
share
stories
demonstrating
your
values,
beliefs,
and
experiences.


  1. Start
    with
    a
    compelling
    hook
    such
    as
    an
    intriguing
    quote,
    bizarre
    juxtaposition,
    or
    unusual
    fact.
    Evoking
    curiosity
    is
    a
    great
    way
    to
    keep
    people’s
    attention.
    (I
    purposefully
    didn’t
    share



    why


    I
    love
    Tony’s
    so
    much
    above.
    I
    wanted
    to
    ratchet
    up
    your
    curiosity.
    You
    can



    find
    out
    here
    .)

  2. Use
    as
    few
    words
    as
    possible.
    Relentlessly
    cut
    tangents
    and
    excess
    details
    as
    appropriate
    for
    the
    forum
    (e.g.,
    in-person
    presentations
    are
    often
    longer
    than
    a
    LinkedIn
    post,
    which
    is
    longer
    than
    a
    tweet). 

  3. The
    heart
    of
    each
    story
    should
    be
    a
    lesson
    relevant
    to
    your
    audience.
    Share
    one,
    three,
    or
    five
    relevant
    life
    or
    work
    lessons,
    depending
    on
    the
    forum.
    As
    interesting
    as
    someone’s
    breakfast
    foods
    may
    be
    to
    them,
    most
    of
    us
    don’t
    want
    to
    hear
    about
    them
    unless
    it
    leads
    to
    an
    eye-opening
    or
    life-confirming
    insight. 

  4. Be
    humble.
    Don’t
    brag
    or
    try
    to
    make
    yourself
    look
    superhuman
    (i.e.,
    avoid
    appearing
    on



    this
    Twitter
    account
    ).
    True
    humility
    comes
    across
    as
    authentic
    and
    trustworthy.
    Stories
    about
    overcoming
    challenges
    are
    especially
    effective.
    Stories
    about
    growing
    from
    failure
    are
    even
    more
    powerful.

  5. Encourage
    engagement.
    One
    of
    my
    favorite
    ways
    to
    end
    a
    story
    is
    with
    a
    question
    about
    the
    reader’s
    perspective
    or
    experience.
    You
    can
    direct
    readers
    to
    another
    story
    or
    ask
    them
    to
    contact
    or
    follow
    you.


Are
you
ready
to
share
your
stories
and
use
networking
via
storytelling
to
transform
your
career?
Visit
LinkedIn



to
connect
with
me


on
this
and
other
legal
career
growth
topics.
(
See
how
I
did
that?
)




Olga MackOlga
V.
Mack
is
the
VP
at




LexisNexis
 and CEO
of 
Parley
Pro
,
a
next-generation
contract
management
company
that
has
pioneered
online
negotiation
technology.
Olga
embraces
legal
innovation
and
had
dedicated
her
career
to
improving
and
shaping
the
future
of
law.
She
is
convinced
that
the
legal
profession
will
emerge
even
stronger,
more
resilient,
and
more
inclusive
than
before
by
embracing
technology.
Olga
is
also
an
award-winning
general
counsel,
operations
professional,
startup
advisor,
public
speaker,
adjunct
professor,
and
entrepreneur.
She
founded
the 
Women
Serve
on
Boards
 movement
that
advocates
for
women
to
participate
on
corporate
boards
of
Fortune
500
companies.
She
authored 
Get
on
Board:
Earning
Your
Ticket
to
a
Corporate
Board
Seat
Fundamentals
of
Smart
Contract
Security
,
and 




Blockchain
Value:
Transforming
Business
Models,
Society,
and
Communities
. She
is
working
on
Visual
IQ
for
Lawyers,
her
next
book
(ABA
2023).
You
can
follow
Olga
on
Twitter
@olgavmack.