Pop
quiz:
how
many
sections
does
Article
I
of
the
Constitution
have?
If
you
choose
to
look
it
up
on
the
official
website
of
Congress,
congress.gov,
because
you
don’t
want
to
trust
not
some
sketchy
Substack
for
sedition
hobbyists,
you’d
say
it
has
eight.
Except
it
has
ten.
Congress
has
just
deleted
Section
9
(and
10)
from
the
website
where
it
maintains
the
“Constitution
Annotated”
as
a
public
service.
But
it’s
gone
now.
Because
the
sketchy
sedition
hobbyists
are
the
ones
running
Congress
now.
We
may
need
Nicholas
Cage
to
steal
the
paper
copy
of
the
Constitution
before
it
gets
the
Wite-Out
treatment
too.
Section
9
includes
eight
different
clauses,
but
likely
the
most
relevant
to
the
Republican
leadership
is
the
right
of
habeas
corpus.
“The
Privilege
of
the
Writ
of
Habeas
Corpus
shall
not
be
suspended,
unless
when
in
Cases
of
Rebellion
or
Invasion
the
public
Safety
may
require
it,”
reads
the
Constitution.
At
least
the
copy
maintained
by
the
non-profit
National
Constitution
Center
reads
that
way,
because
the
congressional
version
skips
it
entirely.
The
Trump
administration
struggles
mightily
with
habeas
corpus,
the
provision
descended
from
English
legal
tradition
that
gives
people
the
government
locks
up
—
or
exports
to
El
Salvadoran
torture
camps
—
the
right
to
force
the
government
to
explain
why.
Homeland
Security
Secretary
Kristi
Noem
famously
floundered
when
asked
to
define
the
right,
but
next
time
she
won’t
have
to
worry
because
Congress
shot
it
down
like
a
rambunctious
puppy.
And
it’s
just
gone…
the
copy
jumps
directly
from
the
end
of
Section
8
to
Article
II.
[UPDATE:
I
was
working
quickly
and
didn’t
even
focus
on
the
semicolon
there.
The
deletions
actually
start
before
the
end
of
Section
8.]
The
website
is
an
annotated
copy
so
there
are
separate
URLs
for
landing
pages
digging
into
the
meaning
of
each
section.
If
you
try
to
manually
override
the
URL
to
see
what
it
says
about
the
missing
Section
9,
you
get
this:
The
good
news
for
Justice
Sam
Alito
is
that
Section
9
is
also
the
part
of
the
Constitution
that
bars
anyone
holding
office
from
accepting
a
title.
So
Sir
Samuel
of
Blackacre
can
now
fully
enjoy
his
medieval
European
knighthood
while
continuing
to
collect
under-the-table
luxury
benefits!
The
quiet
deletion
of
constitutional
protections
from
the
government’s
official
website
marks
a
bold
step
into
Orwellian
fanfic.
It’s
a
move
Trump
telegraphed
last
year,
when
he
released
his
personal
Trump
Bible,
promising
his
fans
a
King
James
Bible
and
copies
of
America’s
foundational
documents…
minus
the
parts
he
doesn’t
like.
The
Fourteenth
Amendment?
That
thing
with
Equal
Protection
and
birthright
citizenship
and
banning
insurrectionists
from
office?
NO
THANK
YOU!
When
his
own
“Little
Red
Book”
—
hawked
to
supporters
for
$60
a
pop
—
edited
out
the
parts
of
the
Constitution
that
didn’t
fit
his
vibe,
many
rolled
their
eyes.
But
it
was
already
an
assault
on
the
rule
of
law,
with
MAGA
officials
attempting
to
force
his
FrankenBible
into
schools
as
an
educational
text.
American
civics
with
the
Reconstruction
stuff
neatly
removed.
In
retrospect,
the
exclusion
of
the
Twenty-Second
Amendment
might
have
been
a
red
flag
too.
But
erasing
laws
in
a
privately
published
book
is
one
thing.
Congress
removing
inconvenient
laws
is
another.
Of
course,
removing
it
from
the
website
doesn’t
actually
change
the
law.
The
Supreme
Court
—
presumably
—
would
still
refer
to
their
previously
published
pocket
Constitutions.
It’s
not
really
about
changing
the
law
though,
it’s
about
laying
groundwork.
Someone
is
going
to
go
on
cable
news
and
declare
“I
don’t
know
what
these
hippies
are
talking
about,
habeas
is
not
in
the
Constitution,
look
here!”
and
they
will
go
completely
unchallenged.
Make
America
Not
Understand
Rights
Again
is
a
goal.
As
I
write
this,
I
keep
refreshing
the
congress.gov
site
hoping
that
it
will
reappear.
Hoping
that
this
is
some
sort
of
glitch
or
accident
caused
by
a
DOGE
intern
spilling
on
the
keyboard.
It’s
not
coming
back,
though.
“Trump
Derangement
Syndrome”
is
such
a
powerful
gaslighting
trope
because
Trump’s
clumsy,
ramshackle
oafishness
is
a
feature
and
not
a
bug.
Authoritarianism
via
amateurism.
A
Nixonian
power
grab
raises
hackles,
but
bumble
along
embracing
the
stupidest
fascism
cosplay
and
one
of
two
things
happens:
(1)
you
get
away
with
it
because
the
Supreme
Court
gave
up
on
the
rule
of
law
or
(2)
you
get
called
out
and
play
it
off
as
a
joke
that
critics
are
“crazy”
for
taking
so
seriously.
If
enough
people
call
out
Congress
for
this,
it’s
going
to
be
“a
harmless
oversight”
and
purely
coincidental
that
their
version
of
the
Constitution
excludes
the
part
that
makes
dictatorships
slightly
harder.
Oh,
and
you
should
watch
out
for
bills
of
attainder
and
ex
post
facto
laws
too.
Because
that’s
also
in
Section
9.
UPDATE:
The
Library
of
Congress
blames
a
“coding
error.”
As
a
reminder,
the
Librarian
of
Congress
was
fired
by
the
Trump
administration
and
replaced
by
two-bit
stooge
Todd
Blanche.
To
be
clear,
the
person
currently
running
the
Library
of
Congress
is…
THE
GUY
FROM
DOJ
WHO
KEEPS
LOSING
HABEAS
CASES.
Surely
a
coincidence.
Blanche
has,
of
course,
been
busy
trying
to
smooth
over
a
story
with
Ghislaine
Maxwell
that
could
get
her
better
prison
accommodations
in
exchange
for
saying
“Donald
Trump
who?”
when
asked
about
Jeffrey
Epstein’s
sexual
trafficking
operation.
So
Blanche
can
be
forgiven
for
being
asleep
at
the
switch
at
the
Library!
But
as
404
Media
insightfully
points
out,
this
isn’t
exactly
a
dynamic
section
of
the
website.
For
years
no
one
has
even
touched
it.
The
thing
about
a
coding
error
is
it
requires
someone
messing
with
the
coding
in
the
first
place.
So
who
was
that?
And
why?
Joe
Patrice is
a
senior
editor
at
Above
the
Law
and
co-host
of
Thinking
Like
A
Lawyer.
Feel
free
to email
any
tips,
questions,
or
comments.
Follow
him
on Twitter or
Bluesky
if
you’re
interested
in
law,
politics,
and
a
healthy
dose
of
college
sports
news.
Joe
also
serves
as
a
Managing
Director
at
RPN
Executive
Search.