by
Mark
Wilson/Getty
Images)
A
lawyer
has
to
zealously
advocate
for
their
client.
But
after
the
case
is
done
and
the
client
has,
you
know,
died…
attorneys
don’t
have
an
obligation
to
keep
defending
them.
Just
because
an
attorney
shouldn’t
bad
mouth
a
former
client,
doesn’t
mean
they
have
to
keep
going
on
TV
years
after
the
fact
to
try
to
explain
why
pedophilia
is
really
a
matter
of
postal
code,
actually!
Alan
Dershowitz
seems
to
not
understand
that
he
has
this
option.
Triggered
by
Commerce
Secretary
Howard
Lutnick’s
closed-door
testimony
before
the
House
Oversight
Committee,
Dershowitz
Zoomed
into
a
conversation
with
Greta
Van
Susteren,
who
deserves
awards
season
buzz
for
(mostly)
maintaining
a
straight
face
throughout.
The
Harvard
Law
emeritus
professor
has
an
interest
in
defending
himself,
of
course,
but
rather
than
limit
himself
to
denying
any
involvement
in
Epstein’s
criminality,
he
decided
to
go
the
pedophilia
really
so
bad?
route.
Bruh.
No.
Even
if
“there
was
no
sex
trafficking
ring,”
a
claim
that
even
the
sliver
of
files
that
have
escaped
Acting
Attorney
General
Todd
Blanche’s
active
cover
up
cast
in
serious
doubt,
that’s
a
complete
thought
without
having
to
delve
into
defending
sex
with
16-year-olds.
Yes,
Dershowitz
has
had
a
curious
fascination
with
getting
rid
of
consent
laws
since
the
90s,
but
that
doesn’t
mean
he
has
to
gratuitously
draw
attention
to
his
own
bad
ideas.
Per
Dershowitz,
Epstein
clocks
in
at
a
“3
or
4”
on
a
10-point
scale
of
sex
offenders.
Setting
aside
that
maybe
a
professor
of
law
should
not
be
issuing
Pitchfork
scores
for
sex
criminals,
this
glibly
avoids
the
fact
that
the
federal
indictment
flagged
14-year-old
victims
and
those
who
have
seen
the
unredacted
Epstein
files
claim
there’s
evidence
of
victims
as
young
as
9.
In
a
confusing
twist,
Dershowitz
defends
Epstein’s
associates,
claiming
they
never
saw
anything
wrong
because
Epstein
kept
a
separate
entrance,
“up
to
where,
we
now
know,
he
did
his
bad
things
—
and
he
did
terrible
things
and
he
was
a
terrible
human
being.”
So…
what
does
Dershowitz
think
are
the
terrible
things?
If
he’s
already
taking
the
position
that
there
was
no
sex
trafficking
ring
and
that
sex
with
16-year-olds
shouldn’t
be
a
problem,
what
exactly
amounts
to
terrible
things?
Sadly,
Van
Susteren
does
not
give
us
the
follow
up
we
need
here.
Van
Susteren
does
ask
about
Epstein’s
“sweetheart
deal”
—
that
Dershowitz
has
claimed
in
the
past
wasn’t
sweet
enough
—
and
the
professor
sticks
to
his
guns
that
he
made
a
bad
deal
for
his
client.
Which…
isn’t
usually
how
lawyers
talk
about
themselves.
Dershowitz
pivoted
to
“McCarthyism”
—
the
last
refuge
of
the
scoundrel
—
his
preferred
description
of
the
fate
of
Epstein’s
associates.
Even
though
the
DOJ
is
bending
over
backward,
in
violation
of
federal
statute,
to
keep
those
associates’
names
from
seeing
the
light
of
day.
Dershowitz
laments
that
“people
have
suffered
grievously”
simply
for
knowing
Epstein.
Really?
Grievously?
A
lot
of
people
have
suffered
mild
social
consequences
for
buddying
up
to
Epstein
and
earned
millions
for
their
trouble.
And
no
one
seems
to
be
getting
in
trouble
for
asking
Epstein
for
a
stock
tip.
Dershowitz
also
complained
that
the
names
of
“many”
Epstein
victims
have
been
redacted
—
which
should
have
been
“all”
except
the
DOJ
can’t
be
bothered
to
even
try
to
comply
with
the
statute
—
which
is
making
it
difficult
for
him
and
Donald
Trump
to
sue
them.
Spoiler…
Donald
Trump
would
not
sue
them.
Trump
sues
people
all
the
time,
but
he
steers
clear
of
anyone
talking
about
this
topic.
Almost
as
though
he
doesn’t
want
any
part
of
the
related
discovery
process.
Look,
man,
I
get
the
impulse
to
defend
your
past
work.
Except…
you
aren’t
defending
it
and
instead
acknowledging
that
the
client
fired
you
and
stopped
paying
your
bills.
In
any
event,
Epstein
isn’t
paying
your
$3
million
bills
anymore.
You
really
don’t
have
to
do
this.
Shutting
up
is
totally
free.
Just
sit
back,
relax,
and
get
ready
to
have
your
annual
embarrassing
crash
out
on
Martha’s
Vineyard.
Joe
Patrice is
a
senior
editor
at
Above
the
Law
and
co-host
of
Thinking
Like
A
Lawyer.
Feel
free
to email
any
tips,
questions,
or
comments.
Follow
him
on Twitter or
Bluesky
if
you’re
interested
in
law,
politics,
and
a
healthy
dose
of
college
sports
news.