How
many
Twitters
would
an
Elon
F**k
if
an
Elon
could
F**k
up
Twitter?
One,
but
as
it
turns
out,
he’s
doing
it
remarkably
quickly.
Twitter
is
losing
integrity
quicker
than
a
wheeled
polyhedron’s
windows
being
shattered
with
a
steel
ball
and
I
am
100%
here
for
it.
You
see,
this
is
what
happens
to
narcissistic
tech
types.
You
take
your
emerald
mine
wealth,
you
launder
it
in
the
public
imaginary
as
being
self-made,
profit
off
of
Technofeudalism
and
make
people
think
its
because
you’re
smart
and
not
because
you’re
abusing
“too
big
to
fail”
economic
systems,
and
then
you
buy
your
vanity
project.
People
use
this
success
story
as
a
motivation
to
funnel
funding
into
STEM
(because
what
are
you
doing
if
you’re
not
modeling
children’s
futures
after
whatever
billionaires
are
doing)
and,
as
an
opportunity
cost
in
an
arbitrarily
zero-sum
educational
system,
funding
is
taken
from
the
arts.
Which
is
too
bad,
because
that’s
what
Musk’s
problem
ultimately
comes
down
to
—
aesthetics.
From
creating
a
hive
mind
(Neuralink),
conquering
the
stars
(Space
X),
to
controlling
the
digital
commons
(Twitter),
Musk
has
displayed
wild
degrees
of
Hubris.
And,
no
one
in
his
circle
will
tell
him
when
he’s
doing
things
wrong
—
because
he
promptly
fires
them:
And
if
you’re
thinking
“Hey!
That’s
what
you
get
when
you
correct
a
boss
publicly
—
it
should
have
been
done
in
private!”:
It
is
hard
to
deny
the
truth
(even
though
Elon
dirty
deleted
the
tweets)
that
Chief
Twit
fired
a
dude
because
the
notion
that
someone
knew
more
than
him
in
public
was
too
heavy
a
cross
to
bear:
No
one
will
be
there
to
protect
him
when
Nemesis
comes.
And
by
Nemesis
I
mean
his
multi
billion
dollar
investment
going
belly
up
very
shortly
after
he
touched
hands
on
it.
This
is
why
we
need
the
humanities,
people!
The
commons
are
at
stake
without
them!
Anyone
worth
their
salt
in
aesthetics
could
have
seen
this
coming
a
mile
away
back
when
he
posted
that
accursed
Elden
Ring
build.
TWO
MED
SHIELDS
ELON?!
I’ll
be
honest
with
you
—
I
can’t
see
how
this
doesn’t
hop
fence
into
Elon’s
other
endeavors.
His
failure
is
its
own
metaphor.
The
only
reason
he
doesn’t
have
to
worry
about
the
risk
that
the
“one
time
he
let
a
$44B
ego
purchase
tank
a
stable,
long
running
tech
giant
within
3
weeks
time”
will
end
up
on
Twitter
is
because
Twitter
is
the
$44B
ego
purchase
that
he
tanked.
It
isn’t
a
question
of
if
this
shit
will
go
viral,
the
question
is
when
(well,
it
technically
is
because
he
may
tank
the
platform
where
it
would
go
most
viral).
When
his
broad
daylight
failure
hits
the
fan,
do
you
think
people
will
still
have
faith
in
their
Tesla
stock?
Space
X?
Hell,
I
wouldn’t
be
surprised
if
Dr.
Robotnik
immediately
distances
himself
from
any
association
with
emeralds
after
a
fuck
up
this
royal.
The
best
thing
about
this?
A
guy
whose
current
shtick
is
stoking
the
“Anti-Socialist
Moderate”
sycophants
who
are
too
afraid
to
openly
admit
that
they’re
just
simping
for
the
richest
man
in
the
world,
may
actually
have
pulled
off
one
of
the
biggest
left
wins
for
anti
capitalism
in
recent
history.
Thanks,
Comrade.
Chris
Williams
became
a
social
media
manager
and
assistant
editor
for
Above
the
Law
in
June
2021.
Prior
to
joining
the
staff,
he
moonlighted
as
a
minor
Memelord™
in
the
Facebook
group Law
School
Memes
for
Edgy
T14s.
He
endured
Missouri
long
enough
to
graduate
from
Washington
University
in
St.
Louis
School
of
Law.
He
is
a
former
boatbuilder
who
cannot
swim, a
published
author
on
critical
race
theory,
philosophy,
and
humor,
and
has
a
love
for
cycling
that
occasionally
annoys
his
peers.
You
can
reach
him
by
email
at cwilliams@abovethelaw.com and
by
tweet
at @WritesForRent.
