Is
there
anything
worse
than
a
holiday
office
party?
I
can
think
of
nothing
less
fun
than
spending
several
hours
with
colleagues
at
lunch
or
dinner
or
cocktails
in
settings
outside
of
the
office.
For
those
like
me,
the
whine
is
usually
“Do
I
have
to
go?”
Making
an
appearance
even
if
you
don’t
stay
very
long
is
crucial.
Yes,
you
do
need
to
show
up,
for
the
same
reason
that
you
need
to
appear
in
person
in
the
office
every
once
in
a
while.
Matching
the
face
to
the
work
done
is
a
smart
idea.
Employers
frown
on
nonparticipation
unless
your
reason
for
not
attending
is
better
than
excuses
such
as
your
need
to
clean
up
your
cat’s
hairballs,
an
attack
of
last-minute
Christmas
shopping,
and
other
similar
lame
reasons.
If
you
say
that
“The
court
has
ordered
us
back
today
this
afternoon
at
1:30.
I
have
to
be
there,”
or
“This
deal
has
to
close
this
afternoon,”
you
should
be
excused
from
attending,
but
not
always.
Other
than
the
last
two,
which
are
legitimate
explanations
for
begging
off
(as
long
as
you
can
proffer
the
reason
with
a
straight
face)
you
are
doomed
to
spend
several
hours
showing
your
holiday
spirit,
if
you
have
any.
Maybe
not,
given
this
year.
Enforced
socializing,
hanging
out
with
others
whom
you
normally
would
not
spend
a
New
York
minute
out
of
the
office
with,
those
you
have
nothing
in
common
with
except
that
the
same
employer’s
name
is
on
all
the
paystubs
…
blech.
Booze
at
these
parties?
If
employers
are
smart
(and
there’s
plenty
of
evidence
in
case
law
and
elsewhere
that
some
managers/supervisors
may
be
two
branches
short
of
a
Christmas
tree
or
a
Hanukkah
bush)
there
would
be
no
imbibing
of
any
booze
during
such
festivities
(and
I
use
that
term
advisedly).
There
are
way
too
many
reported
cases
of
employees
enjoying
themselves
too
much
in
inappropriate
ways.
Manners
matter.
Free
food,
free
booze
(if
it
is
served)
can
be
too
tempting
for
many
of
us
mere
mortals.
When
there’s
free-flowing
booze
at
holiday
parties,
there
is
more
than
just
temptation,
there
are
events
with
potential
consequences.
Do
EPLI
carriers
need
to
be
on
standby
or
even
attend?
At
some
office
parties,
attendees
are
expected
to
dress
appropriately
for
the
time
and
place.
At
others,
just
showing
up
suffices.
If
there
is
a
meal
—
and
often
there
isn’t
—
just
appetizers
and
drink,
it’s
more
likely
that
attendees
will
make
a
brief
appearance,
long
enough
to
see
and
be
seen,
and
then
skedaddle.
Excuses
like
“I
promised
to
be
home
by
X
time,”
or
“the
kids
have
[insert
kind]
practice
and
what
with
traffic,
I
am
going
to
be
later
than
promised,”
or
the
best
one,
at
least
for
ingratiating
purposes,
“I
need
to
get
back
to
the
office
to
finish
drafting
the
motion
that
I
know
Partner
A
wants
to
read
tomorrow.”
This,
of
course,
is
said
not
necessarily
in
front
of
Partner
A
but
within
earshot.
And
how
about
those
“Secret
Santa”
exchanges?
Does
anyone
else
find
them
as
cringe-inducing
as
I
do?
Watching
colleagues
snatch
gifts
from
each
other
has
never
been
a
favorite
spectator
sport
of
mine.
Don’t
stand
in
a
group
of
your
colleagues
and
talk
about
yourself.
Not
only
does
no
one
want
to
hear
it,
they
probably
already
know
about
it,
having
heard
about
it
at
the
coffee
bar,
or
whatever
today
has
replaced
the
“water
cooler”
as
the
hub
for
gossip
and
conversation.
No
one
enjoys
hanging
out
with
a
narcissist,
so
if
you
see
everyone
drift
away,
get
the
hint
so
that
they
don’t
have
to
get
the
hook.
Finally,
be
on
your
guard
with
what
you
say
and
with
who’s
listening.
I
never
thought
that
would
be
something
we
citizens
had
to
fear,
but
with
the
first
year
of
47’s
second
term
coming
to
a
close,
you
can’t
be
too
careful.
Just
as
“loose
lips
sink
ships,”
(was
that
term
in
use
before
our
current
Secretary
of
Defense
aka
War?)
anyone’s
behavior,
comments,
social
media,
and
the
like
are
now
grist
for
being
included
on
a
list
of
“domestic
terrorists.”
I
wish
I
was
making
this
up,
but
I
am
not.
Instead
of
Santa
checking
whether
someone
has
been
naughty
or
nice,
this
list
now
will
allow
our
federal
government
—
yes,
yours,
mine,
and
ours
—
to
reward
citizens
who
rat
on
others
to
identify
purported
acts
of
domestic
terrorism.
Please
STFU.
An
arrest
may
suffice
for
doling
out
reward
bucks.
I
am
not
kidding.
Will
we
become
a
nation
of
informants?
Something
to
worry
about
in
the
new
year?
Remember
Spy
vs.
Spy
in
Mad
Magazine?
This
makes
me
want
to
have
a
drink,
but
not
at
an
office
holiday
party.
Jill
Switzer
has
been
an
active
member
of
the
State
Bar
of
California
for
over
40
years.
She
remembers
practicing
law
in
a
kinder,
gentler
time.
She’s
had
a
diverse
legal
career,
including
stints
as
a
deputy
district
attorney,
a
solo
practice,
and
several
senior
in-house
gigs.
She
now
mediates
full-time,
which
gives
her
the
opportunity
to
see
dinosaurs,
millennials,
and
those
in-between
interact
—
it’s
not
always
civil.
You
can
reach
her
by
email
at [email protected].