On
March
12,
Barbara
Fried
—
mother
of
convicted
crypto
bigshot
Sam
Bankman-Fried
—
wrote
a
letter
to
Judge
Lewis
Kaplan.
Judge
Kaplan…
was
not
particularly
happy
about
this.
Judge
Kaplan
presided
over
SBF’s
trial,
revoked
his
bail
for
witness
tampering,
and
has
otherwise
demonstrated
approximately
zero
tolerance
for
any
shenanigans
in
this
case.
In
between
social
media
posts
designed
to
curry
favor
with
America’s
pardoner-in-chief,
SBF
wants
a
new
trial
and
is
representing
himself
pro
se.
SBF
argues,
in
a
nutshell,
that
FTX
was
totally
solvent
and
the
whole
case
against
him
amounts
to
political
overreach.
As
inmate
motions
go,
SBF’s
new
trial
bid
carries
a
lot
of
“child’s
letter
to
Santa”
energy.
Given
this,
perhaps
it
was
inevitable
that
Mama
Fried
get
involved,
writing
Judge
Kaplan
to
request
an
extension
of
time
for
her
son
to
reply
to
the
government’s
opposition
to
the
new
trial
motion.
Judge
Kaplan
did
not
appreciate
mom
asking
if
her
son
could
get
an
extension
on
his
homework
assignment.
“[W]ith
no
disrespect,
she
lacks
standing
to
file
papers
or
seek
relief
in
this
case,”
the
judge
wrote
after
noting
that
Barbara
Fried
has
practiced
law
and
taught
at
Stanford
Law
School.
Indeed,
she
clerked
for
the
Second
Circuit,
practiced
at
Paul
Weiss
(back
when
it
had
a
spine),
and
taught
contracts
and
legal
theory
for
over
three
decades.
But
a
law
degree
does
not
make
her
the
defendant’s
lawyer.
Her
letter
claims
that
she
holds
power
of
attorney
for
her
son,
but
that
is
also
not
the
same
as
being
his
attorney.
And
while
SBF
is
currently
representing
himself,
he
does
have
three
lawyers
on
file
that
could
lodge
this
motion
for
him.
Kaplan
also
pointed
out
that
the
letter
bore
no
indication
it
had
been
served
on
the
U.S.
Attorney’s
office.
And
then
there’s
this…
Moreover,
court
staff
have
advised
that
Ms.
Fried
or
someone
so
identifying
herself
left
a
voicemail
message
on
the
chambers
telephone
line.
The
Court
does
not
accept
telephone
calls
from
litigants
or
from
members
of
their
families.
The
younger
Bankman-Fried
probably
does
need
an
extension,
given
that
he’s
due
for
transfer,
which
will
sideline
his
efforts
for
an
indeterminant
period
of
time.
And,
on
that
note,
Judge
Kaplan
issued
a
shorter
extension
on
his
own
initiative
to
give
SBF’s
actual
attorneys
an
opportunity
to
file
a
proper
motion
for
extension.
Though
even
if
he
gets
a
lawyer
to
properly
file
for
this
extension
—
and
successfully
receives
it
—
he’s
still
going
to
face
a
battle.
New
trials
aren’t
granted
easily
and
the
government’s
opposition
to
his
Rule
33
motion
brands
his
claims
as
“fanciful”
and
“incoherent.”
Harsh
words
when
your
motion
is
described
like
a
cryptocurrency.
(Full
docketed
exchange
on
the
next
page…)
Joe
Patrice is
a
senior
editor
at
Above
the
Law
and
co-host
of
Thinking
Like
A
Lawyer.
Feel
free
to email
any
tips,
questions,
or
comments.
Follow
him
on Twitter or
Bluesky
if
you’re
interested
in
law,
politics,
and
a
healthy
dose
of
college
sports
news.
Joe
also
serves
as
a
Managing
Director
at
RPN
Executive
Search.