In
a
gift
from
the
digital
gods,
the
Colorado
appellate
courts
film
oral
argument
because
that
allows
us
to
follow
uncomfortably
along
with
this
installment
of
“Curb
Your
Enthusiasm:
SVU.”
While
arguing
whether
or
not
a
violent
sexual
assault
counts
as
a
single
act
or
can
be
broken
into
multiple
acts
to
further
ratchet
up
the
sentence,
the
prosecution’s
appellate
lawyer
addressed
Judge
Elizabeth
Harris
as…
well,
go
ahead
and
watch
And
as
the
post
says,
you
will
need
sound
because
the
only
friend
this
guy
had
in
the
courtroom
that
day
WAS
the
court
reporter
or
whoever
ran
the
subtitles
because
they
don’t
give
any
indication
of
what
specifically
threw
this
off
the
rails:
Bump
bump
bump,
ba
da
da
da,
ba
da
da
da,
ba
dum
da
da.
Judge
Terry
Fox
in
the
middle
plays
the
role
of
every
one
of
us.
Watch
her
face
break
out
into
a
laugh
before
immediately
realizing
she
needs
to
fight
it
back.
She
cycles
through
so
many
emotions
in
a
blink…
just
fantastic.
While
a
lot
of
the
replies
to
this
clip
focused
on
courtroom
misogyny
and
the
persistent
tapeworm
of
sexism
writhing
within
the
guts
of
the
legal
profession,
this
really
didn’t
feel
like
a
calculated
act
of
condescension.
There
may
be
some
backwater
lawyer
in
2025
who
still
thinks
of
every
woman
as
“sweetheart,”
but
that’s
not
likely
the
appellate
lawyer
for
the
state
of
Colorado.
This
reads
like
an
instinctual
verbal
reflex
that
springs
from
having
every
one
of
the
most
challenging
arguments
of
his
life
with
his
partner.
A
Freudian
slip-and-fall
if
you
will.
How
did
this
not
come
up
in
the
Texas
bankruptcy
court!
That
judge
was
secretly
living
with
the
lawyer
and
this
never
happened?!?
Respect.
Once
during
a
disagreement
with
a
woman
I
was
dating,
she
wheeled
around
and
snapped
at
me,
“MOMMY,
STOP
IT!”
Put
aside
for
a
moment
how
I
became
“mommy”
in
this
equation,
the
point
is
this
sort
of
slip
happens.
Or,
hell,
don’t
put
it
aside,
because
the
fact
that
I
played
the
role
of
“mommy”
in
this
anecdote
is
a
good
reminder
that
these
slips
don’t
even
necessarily
carry
gender
politics
baggage.
Sometimes
you’re
just
flustered
and
your
brain
plays
the
odds
and
defaults
to
the
person
who
usually
makes
you
flustered.
But,
dude,
you
have
to
be
quicker
with
a
mistake
of
these
proportions.
“I’m
so
sorry,
I
practiced
this
argument
with
my
wife
and
she
stressed
the
same
point
you’re
making
now.”
Or
something
along
those
lines.
As
the
moment
drags
on
it
gets
worse
and
worse.
Which,
of
course,
is
the
soul
of
cringe
comedy:
it
could
almost
always
be
fixed
if
it
wasn’t
allowed
to
hang
there
for
whatever
reason.
And
yet,
in
the
cringe,
there’s
a
perverse
kind
of
hope.
Our
reaction
reminds
us
that
misogyny
exists
and
how
jarring
it
is
to
encounter
in
court.
Even
if
it
wasn’t
this
guy’s
specific
intent,
we
recoil
at
this
slip
because
we
can
all
imagine
some
seersucker
Matlock
clone
asking
a
judge
where
her
boss
is.
Courtroom
decorum
is
important,
but
it
also
obscures
a
lot
of
issues
that
boil
under
the
surface.
Sometimes
a
little
disruption
reminds
us
of
what’s
important.
And
if
you
want
something
amusingly
horrifying
to
end
on,
remember
that
this
is
an
appellate
lawyer
for
the
state.
This
isn’t
the
only
oral
argument
he’s
going
to
have…
he’s
probably
going
to
have
to
keep
standing
up
in
front
of
these
judges
and
their
colleagues
again
and
again.
At
least
he
seems
to
have
some
emotional
support
at
home.
Joe
Patrice is
a
senior
editor
at
Above
the
Law
and
co-host
of
Thinking
Like
A
Lawyer.
Feel
free
to email
any
tips,
questions,
or
comments.
Follow
him
on Twitter or
Bluesky
if
you’re
interested
in
law,
politics,
and
a
healthy
dose
of
college
sports
news.
Joe
also
serves
as
a
Managing
Director
at
RPN
Executive
Search.