“Our
capital
city
has
been
overtaken
by
violent
gangs
and
bloodthirsty
criminals,
roving
mobs
of
wild
youth,
drugged-out
maniacs
and
homeless
people,”
the
president
ranted
last
week.
It
has
not.
Violent
crime
in
DC
is
down
sharply
from
last
year,
and
is,
in
fact,
at
a
30-year
low.
But
one
of
the
teenage
DOGE-bros
—
that
odious
little
shit
Edward
“Big
Balls”
Coristine
—
got
mugged
a
couple
weeks
ago.
And
that
was
just
the
Reichstag-fire-but-dumber
excuse
the
Trump
administration
needed
to
invoke
emergency
powers
to
seize
control
of
DC’s
police.
On
August
11,
Trump
declared
a
“Crime
Emergency
in
the
District
of
Columbia”
in
which
he
purported
to
take
over
the
entire
Metropolitan
Police
Department
(MPD)
“for
Federal
purposes,
including
maintaining
law
and
order
in
the
Nation’s
seat
of
Government;
protecting
Federal
buildings,
national
monuments,
and
other
Federal
property;
and
ensuring
conditions
necessary
for
the
orderly
functioning
of
the
Federal
Government.”
This
was
followed
up
by
Order
6370-2025
from
Attorney
General
Pam
Bondi,
purporting
to
cancel
all
of
the
MPD’s
“sanctuary
city”
orders
and
putting
“Terrence
Cole,”
the
administrator
of
the
Drug
Enforcement
Administration,
in
charge
of
the
MPD.
(His
name
is
Terrance
Cole,
but
why
should
the
AG
bother
to
learn
the
names
of
her
underlings,
right?)
How
this
will
save
Coristine’s
balls
was
left
as
an
exercise
for
the
reader.
The
City
immediately
sued
and
sought
a
temporary
injunction
blocking
the
order,
and,
after
a
hearing
before
Judge
Ana
Reyes
on
Friday
afternoon,
the
Trump
administration
largely
backed
down.
But
the
whole
episode
is
a
reminder
of
the
precarious
situation
the
more
than
700,000
residents
of
our
nation’s
capital
live
under
as
citizens
of
no
state.
Taxation
without
representation
In
1790,
the
Founding
Fathers,
in
their
wisdom(?)
located
the
nation’s
capital
in
the
swampy
armpit
of
the
Potomac
River.
To
assure
the
existing
thirteen
states
that
one
of
their
number
was
not
about
to
reap
a
fantastic
bounty
by
hosting
the
seat
of
federal
government,
Washington
would
be
an
independent
district
governed
directly
by
Congress
itself.
That’s
Article
I,
Section
8,
Clause
17
of
the
Constitution,
also
known
as
the
“Enclave
Clause.”
At
the
time,
that
wasn’t
necessarily
the
craziest
idea
—
Congress
was
only
a
part-time
gig
in
those
days,
and
the
city
was
home
to
far
fewer
than
the
50,000
residents
needed
to
admit
a
state.
But
within
a
few
decades
it
became
clear
that
this
jury-rigged
solution
wasn’t
going
to
work
long
term.
DC
government
has
gone
through
multiple
instantiations
since
then,
several
of
which
were
very
weird.
Between
1874
and
1967,
it
was
governed
by
a
tripartite
system
consisting
of
three
“commissioners,”
two
appointed
by
the
president
and
one
by
the
Army
Corps
of
Engineers.
But
it
was
Congress
which
drafted
the
city’s
laws
and
funded
local
government,
meaning
that
US
Senators
and
Representatives
from
other
states
were
left
fielding
calls
from
DC
residents
about
everything
from
potholes,
to
trash
pickup,
to
enforcing
local
leash
laws.
Members
of
Congress,
answerable
only
to
their
own
constituents,
were
largely
indifferent
to
complaints
by
DC
residents.
For
example,
Congress
frequently
forgot
to
authorize
daylight
savings
time
in
DC,
leaving
the
District’s
residents
in
a
weird
Twilight
Zone,
an
hour
behind
everyone
else
on
the
East
coast.
Finally
in
1973,
Congress
enacted
the
Home
Rule
Act,
ceding
a
little
of
its
powers
over
DC
to
local
citizens.
Residents
gained
the
right
to
elect
a
mayor
and
city
council
to
manage
the
District’s
day-to-day
affairs,
but
Congress
retained
ultimate
authority
to
approve
local
laws
and
set
the
city’s
budget.
For
good
measure,
Congress
also
devolved
some
of
its
authority
over
the
city
to
the
president
for
use
in
an
emergency,
which
is
why
the
city
remains
uniquely
vulnerable
to
the
depredations
of
President
Emergency
Powers.
Section
740
Because
the
federal
government
lacks
its
own
police
force,
the
Home
Rule
Act
contains
an
obscure
emergency
provision
at
Section
740
empowering
the
president
to
conscript
local
police
under
certain
conditions:
Whenever
the
President
of
the
United
States
determines
that
special
conditions
of
an
emergency
nature
exist
which
require
the
use
of
the
Metropolitan
Police
force
for
Federal
purposes,
he
may
direct
the
Mayor
to
provide
him,
and
the
Mayor
shall
provide,
such
services
of
the
Metropolitan
Police
force
as
the
President
may
deem
necessary
and
appropriate.
Until
last
week,
no
president
had
ever
invoked
Section
740,
so
there
is
no
case
law
interpreting
it.
But
the
plain
text
of
the
statute
sets
three
preconditions
for
the
president’s
invocation:
-
There
must
be
“special
conditions
of
an
emergency
nature”
that
require
the
assistance
of
the
DC
Metro
police; -
The
President
must
“direct”
the
DC
Mayor
to
provide
police
“services”
in
support
of
such
emergency;
and -
Those
services
must
be
in
support
of
a
“federal
purpose.”
Moreover,
the
powers
authorized
by
Section
740
expire
after
just
48
hours,
although
they
can
be
extended
up
to
30
days
if
the
President
notifies
Congress
in
writing
as
to
the
“reason
for
such
direction
and
the
period
of
time
during
which
the
need
for
such
services
is
likely
to
continue.”
After
30
days,
the
emergency
terminates
“unless
the
Senate
and
the
House
of
Representatives
enact
into
law
a
joint
resolution”
extending
the
emergency.
Shout
“Emergency!”
Break
the
law.
Rinse
and
repeat.
Pursuant
to
Section
740,
AG
Bondi
issued
her
August
14
order
purporting
to:
-
Appoint
DEA
Administrator
Cole
as
the
“Emergency
Police
Commissioner”
of
MPD
with
all
the
powers
of
the
Chief
of
Police; -
Revoke
three
MPD
orders
regarding
local
police
cooperation
with
immigration
enforcement;
and -
Instruct
the
MPD
to
enforce
“to
the
maximum
extent
permissible
by
law”
local
laws
regarding
the
“unlawful
occupancy
of
public
spaces.”
Targeting
homeless
people
is
consistent
with
Trump’s
yelling
at
clouds
about
“too
many
tents
on
the
lawns
—
these
magnificent
lawns,”
but
would
appear
to
have
precious
little
to
do
with
“special
conditions
of
an
emergency
nature.”
And
so
the
very
next
morning,
the
District
of
Columbia
raced
into
federal
court
seeking
a
temporary
restraining
order
blocking
Bondi’s
order
from
going
into
effect.
They
drew
Judge
Ana
Reyes,
last
seen
on
these
pages
brutally
eviscerating
the
government’s
slipshod
reasoning
in
support
of
the
ban
on
trans
service
members.
(But
not
too
slipshod
for
SCOTUS).
The
judge
promptly
cancelled
her
upcoming
vacation,
postponed
a
pizza
party
for
her
departing
law
clerks,
and
scheduled
a
hearing
on
the
District’s
motion
for
later
that
afternoon.
Know
when
to
fold
‘em
At
the
hearing,
Judge
Reyes
gave
the
government
the
maximum
benefit
of
the
doubt.
She
refused
to
even
discuss
the
issue
of
whether
there
was
a
genuine
emergency
sufficient
to
invoke
Section
740,
or
whether
the
uses
demanded
by
the
president
were
in
support
of
a
“federal
purpose.”
Because
DC
requested
an
immediate
temporary
restraining
order
before
the
benefit
of
any
discovery,
Judge
Reyes
just
assumed
(for
now)
that
the
Trump
administration
had
satisfied
those
preconditions.
And
despite
all
of
that,
it
was
clear
that
Judge
Reyes
thought
no
part
of
the
order
was
likely
to
survive
as
written.
There
is
nothing
in
the
Home
Rule
Act
giving
the
president
the
power
to
unilaterally
appoint
a
new
Chief
of
Police
or
issue
commands
directly
to
the
MPD.
Nor
does
the
Home
Rule
Act
empower
the
president
to
rescind
previous
police
directives;
he
can
only
order
MPD
to
provide
police
“services.”
So
the
administration
can’t
just
wipe
out
the
offending
“sanctuary
city”
policies
with
the
stroke
of
a
pen
—
although
it
might
be
able
to
affirmatively
order
MPD
to
do
things
that
violate
those
policies.
The
court
made
it
pellucidly
clear
that,
if
the
administration
didn’t
walk
back
Bondi’s
garbage
demands,
it
was
going
to
find
itself
on
the
pointy
end
of
a
TRO.
And,
as
Judge
Reyes
reminded
Deputy
AG
Yaakov
Roth,
the
penalty
for
noncompliance
with
a
judicial
order
is
contempt
of
court.
And
so
the
government
caved
and
agreed
to
rescind
Bondi’s
August
14
order,
effectively
stipulating
to
most
of
the
city’s
demands,
and
replacing
it
with
Order
6372-2025,
hammered
out
with
DC’s
Attorney
General
Brian
Schwalb.
Under
the
new
order,
Cole
is
no
longer
denominated
as
Chief
of
Police,
but
rather
the
AG’s
“designee”
to
the
Mayor
for
the
purposes
of
communicating
requests
made
during
the
duration
of
the
so-called
“emergency.”
(They’re
still
misspelling
his
name,
though!)
And
the
balance
of
the
order
now
requests
affirmative
“assistance”
from
MPD
with
the
enforcement
of
federal
immigration
law,
rather
than
unilateral
rescission
of
its
own
internal
edicts.
AG
Schwalb
then
withdrew
his
request
for
a
TRO,
and
everyone
got
to
go
home
for
the
weekend.
But
DC
isn’t
out
of
the
woods
yet.
As
Judge
Reyes
noted
during
the
hearing,
the
Home
Rule
Act
does
give
the
administration
special
powers
over
MPD.
The
Act
says
that
the
Mayor
“must”
provide
the
police
services
that
the
President
deems
“necessary
and
appropriate.”
And
so,
even
though
this
particular
order
was
overbroad,
the
government
almost
certainly
can
order
DC
Mayor
Muriel
Bowser
to
provide
local
police
support
for
ICE
raids
if
Section
740
of
the
Home
Rule
Act
has
been
properly
invoked.
Of
course
the
original
lawsuit
remains
pending,
even
after
the
District’s
motion
for
TRO
was
withdrawn.
The
court
will
still
have
to
decide
whether
there’s
a
legitimate
“emergency”
for
the
purposes
of
Section
740,
and
whether
enforcing
DC’s
vagrancy
laws
have
a
federal
purpose.
And
meanwhile,
the
30-day
clock
is
ticking
—
something
the
administration
will
surely
cite
as
a
reason
to
evade
judicial
review
by
an
unfriendly
judge.
Can’t
have
a
lot
of
fact-finding
about
whether
there’s
an
“emergency”
if
the
emergency
order
has
expired,
right?
(No,
not
right.)
TL,
DR?
DC
should
be
a
state.
It
has
more
residents
than
Wyoming
or
Vermont,
and
arguments
that
its
citizens
are
undeserving
of
representation
amount
to
a
naked
power
grab
wrapped
in
gutter
racism.
But
until
that
day
comes,
DC
residents
should
at
least
be
able
to
run
their
own
police
department.
And
for
now,
they
still
can.