by
Jabin
Botsford
/
The
Washington
Post
via
Getty
Images)
I
don’t
know
how
closely
you
look
at
those
few
paper
bills
floating
around
in
your
wallet.
Cash
hasn’t
been
the
most
convenient
payment
option
for
a
long
time,
and
it’s
even
less
favorable
these
days
considering
the
Donald
Trump-induced
demise
of
the
penny,
which
prompted
many
merchants
to
round
transactions
by
a
few
cents
for
those
paying
with
cash.
If
you
were
to
closely
scrutinize
a
U.S.
banknote,
however,
right
now
you
would
come
across
two
signatures:
those
of
the
Treasury
Secretary
and
the
Treasurer.
If
you
have
bills
printed
far
enough
back
in
time,
you
could
compare
the
relatively
legible
signatures
of
some
of
the
more
recent
holders
of
those
offices,
and
the
inscrutable
scribbles
of
others.
It
has
been
this
way
for
165
years.
Yet,
despite
how
he
claims
to
care
so
deeply
about
history
and
tradition
whenever
he’s
attempting
to
preserve
a
statue
of
some
racist
he
just
learned
about
the
existence
of,
President
Trump
does
not
actually
give
one
sh*t
about
history,
tradition,
or
good
taste.
In
yet
another
unprecedented
(some
might
say
demented)
move
intended
to
fan
the
dictatorial
flames
of
a
sitting
president’s
massive
ego,
Trump’s
jagged,
thirsty
signature
is
going
to
adorn
U.S.
paper
currency.
The
Treasury
Department
also
intends
to
drop
the
signature
of
the
U.S.
Treasurer,
a
first
since
greenbacks
were
originally
introduced
in
1861.
Trump,
while
he
does
still
head
an
ever-shrinking
cult
of
irrationally
devoted
supporters,
is
probably
the
most
loathed
president
in
United
States
history.
Some
outraged
citizens
claim
that
they
will
refuse
to
use
any
paper
currency
bearing
Trump’s
signature.
Personally,
I
believe
large-scale
resistance
to
Trump-signed
paper
money
is
going
to
take
a
different
form.
Remember
when
he
slapped
his
disgusting
glowering
mug
on
this
year’s
annual
National
Parks
passes
right
next
to
a
portrait
of
George
Washington
like
a
total
f*cking
lunatic?
Well,
it
took
no
time
at
all
for
people
to
start
distributing
custom
stickers
fit
to
go
right
over
Trump’s
stupid
face,
or
to
just
color
over
it
with
a
Sharpie.
The
Trump
administration
then
scrambled
to
try
to
force
the
hardworking
NPS
rangers
it
had
treated
like
a
mass
of
human
garbage
during
its
DOGE
campaign
to
disallow
people
who’d
already
paid
for
their
passes
from
using
them
to
get
into
National
Parks
if
they’d
covered
the
Trump
photo.
Well,
the
Trump
picture
on
the
National
Parks
pass
went
over
like
a
fart
in
church,
and
it
seems
to
me
that
the
Trump
signature
on
paper
money
is
even
more
ill-conceived.
How
long
do
you
think
it’s
going
to
take
for
someone
to
start
selling
a
desktop
stamp
that
allows
a
person
to
stamp
every
single
Trump-signed
bill
they
come
across
to
read
“Donald
J.
Trump
protects
pedophiles”
in
his
own
dopey
handwriting
so
it
looks
like
he
wrote
it
himself?
I
should
note
that
anyone
who
“mutilates,
cuts,
defaces,
disfigures,
or
perforates”
a
banknote
with
intent
to
render
it
unfit
for
reissue
(the
intent
part’s
important)
commits
a
crime,
and
I
am
certainly
not
advocating
for
anyone
to
do
anything
like
that.
That
being
said,
it
actually
isn’t
against
the
law
to
harmlessly
write,
draw,
or
doodle
in
a
small
space
on
your
paper
currency
as
long
as
you’re
not
putting
an
advertisement
on
it.
Plus,
unlike
with
a
National
Parks
pass
that
is
issued
to
and
tied
to
an
individual
person,
cash
changes
hands
a
lot.
It
would
be
very
easy
for
anyone
with
a
modified
bill
to
claim
it
came
to
them
that
way
in
a
legitimate
cash
transaction.
The
possibilities
are
endless,
and
I
frankly
can’t
wait
to
see
what
people
come
up
with.
The
first
Trump-signed
hundred
dollar
bills
are
supposedly
going
to
be
printed
in
June,
with
other
denominations
to
follow,
though
keep
in
mind
that
his
ballroom
is
still
a
crater
in
the
ground
where
the
East
Wing
of
the
White
House
used
to
be,
Iran
is
far
from
fully
defeated,
and
we’re
still
waiting
on
that
wall
that
Mexico
was
supposed
to
pay
for
in
his
first
term.
Folks,
Trump
turns
80
in
June,
just
in
time
for
his
new
$100
bills
to
drop.
Hard
to
believe
though
it
is,
everything
is
only
going
to
keep
getting
even
stupider
from
here.
Hopefully
at
least
we
can
all
get
a
few
lolz
out
of
this
one.
Jonathan
Wolf
is
a
civil
litigator
and
author
of Your
Debt-Free
JD (affiliate
link).
He
has
taught
legal
writing,
written
for
a
wide
variety
of
publications,
and
made
it
both
his
business
and
his
pleasure
to
be
financially
and
scientifically
literate.
Any
views
he
expresses
are
probably
pure
gold,
but
are
nonetheless
solely
his
own
and
should
not
be
attributed
to
any
organization
with
which
he
is
affiliated.
He
wouldn’t
want
to
share
the
credit
anyway.
He
can
be
reached
at [email protected].