If
you
are
a
growth-minded
person,
you
know
that
feedback
is
a
gift.
Or
at
least
that’s
what
people
say.
But
what
does
that
even
mean?
It
has
taken
me
a
long
time
to
figure
it
out.
I
don’t
know
that
I
have
the
right
answer,
but
if
helpful,
this
is
what
I
do
with
feedback.
Consider
The
Source
Not
all
sources
are
equal,
and
it’s
important
to
consider
who
is
giving
you
feedback
and
why.
Whether
it
is
a
manager,
a
mentor,
or
a
colleague,
do
they
have
your
best
interests
at
heart?
Do
they
want
to
help
you
develop
and
grow?
What
do
they
have
to
gain
by
giving
you
feedback?
What
experiences
does
that
person
have
to
be
able
to
provide
you
advice?
When
I
was
a
law
student,
I
met
one
of
my
first
mentors
through
a
local
bar
association.
As
first-gen,
I
didn’t
know
any
lawyers,
so
I
was
very
excited
that
someone
was
interested
in
helping
me.
While
I
wasn’t
exactly
sure
what
I
wanted
to
do,
I
was
interested
in
exploring
litigation.
This
mentor
told
me
that
I
would
get
“eaten
for
lunch”
and
advised
against
litigation.
I
was
crushed.
Luckily,
I
had
just
started
on
a
moot
court
team,
which
was
coached
by
two
other
lawyers
in
the
community.
They
noticed
how
crestfallen
I
was
at
practice,
my
unusual
lack
of
confidence
at
practice,
and
asked
me
why.
I
shared
my
mentor’s
advice,
and
my
coaches
gave
me
some
perspective.
From
this
conversation,
I
considered
how
my
mentor
hadn’t
known
me
very
long,
how
she
herself
was
not
a
litigator
and
had
no
litigation
experience
(as
compared
to
my
current
moot
court
coaches),
and
that
it
was
just
one
person’s
opinion.
I
had
to
consider
the
source
to
put
the
feedback
into
context
and
now
allow
one
person’s
advice
to
change
my
entire
career
trajectory.
Reflect
Receiving
feedback
is
hard,
especially
if
you
are
a
recovering
“fixed-mindsetter”
like
myself.
There’s
certainly
a
practice
to
hearing
criticism,
suspending
the
gut
reaction
to
be
defensive
or
spiral,
and
turning
the
feedback
into
an
opportunity
to
change.
It
may
not
be
so
arduous
for
others,
but
I
need
to
sit
with
the
feedback
and
reflect.
I
need
to
think
about
other
examples
and
experiences
from
my
life
and
see
if
there
is
a
pattern
and
why
I
behave
the
way
I
do.
Sometimes
I
need
to
go
back
to
the
source
and
ask
for
examples
because
I
don’t
understand
the
feedback.
In
one
of
my
performance
reviews
as
a
new
in-house
counsel,
I
received
feedback
that
to
grow
in
my
career,
I
needed
to
work
on
my
gravitas.
I
didn’t
know
that
meant
so
I
did
some
Googling,
and
I
asked
my
manager
for
examples
of
leaders
with
gravitas.
Ultimately,
I
still
didn’t
understand
so
I
sought
a
professional
coach
for
help.
Put
It
Into
Action
Once
you’ve
“validated”
the
feedback,
you
have
a
choice
to
make.
You
can
either
ignore
it
—
because
of
the
source,
because
it’s
not
related
to
one
of
your
goals,
or
because
it
goes
against
your
core
values
—
or
you
can
use
it
to
improve.
This
is
probably
the
most
difficult
step
because
it
requires
intention
in
recognizing
an
opportunity
and
execution.
After
I
received
feedback
from
a
colleague
that
my
self-deprecation
may
be
undercutting
my
own
credibility
with
clients,
I
had
to
create
a
little
“system”
to
try
to
change
this
behavior.
I
started
by
blocking
off
15
minutes
before
key
meetings
so
I
could
set
my
intention
for
the
meeting
and
how
I
wanted
to
show
up.
I
also
blocked
off
15
minutes
after
those
same
meetings
to
“grade”
myself
on
how
I
did,
think
about
ways
to
do
better,
and
of
course,
write
down
any
to-do
items.
Ultimately,
feedback
can
be
a
gift.
It
can
help
us
get
some
visibility
into
our
blind
spots
and
affirms
the
value
of
trusted
relationships,
but
it
takes
some
work
to
really
maximize
the
opportunity.
Meyling
“Mey”
Ly
Ortiz
is
in-house
at
Toyota
Motor
North
America.
Her
passions
include
mentoring,
championing
belonging,
and
a
personal
blog:
TheMeybe.com.
At
home,
you
can
find
her
doing
her
best
to
be
a
“fun”
mom
to
a
toddler
and
preschooler
and
chasing
her
best
self
on
her
Peloton.
You
can
follow
her
on
LinkedIn
(https://www.linkedin.com/in/meybe/).
And
you
knew
this
was
coming:
her
opinions
are
hers
alone.