In
the
heat
of
an
argument
—
whether
it’s
a
tense
negotiation
or
a
spirited
debate
among
colleagues
—
lawyers
often
feel
a
reflexive
pull
to
win
the
point.
We’re
trained
for
it.
Law
school
hones
our
ability
to
spot
laws
in
logic,
dismantle
weak
arguments,
and,
let’s
be
honest,
enjoy
the
intellectual
high
ground.
In
the
business
world,
especially
in
corporate
legal
departments
where
relationships,
influence,
and
outcomes
often
stretch
beyond
the
board
room,
there’s
a
crucial
distinction
many
of
in-house
lawyers
miss:
Do
you
want
to
beat
them?
Or
do
you
want
to
win?
This
was
the
subject
of
a
recent
LinkedIn
post
by
Joshua
Horenstein,
chief
human
resources
officer
and
chief
legal
officer
at
Innophos,
an
international
ingredients
manufacturer
with
over
1,500
employees
worldwide.
As
Joshua
points
out,
beating
and
winning
can
sound
like
similar
concepts,
but
they
are
actually
very
different.
Beating
someone
is
about
proving
you’re
right
and
the
other
person
is
wrong.
Winning
is
about
achieving
the
best
long-term
outcome.
It’s
a
distinction
that,
if
ignored,
can
derail
careers,
undermine
relationships,
and
erode
the
trust
needed
to
influence
the
business.
And
yet,
we
see
it
all
the
time.
When
in-house
lawyers
insist
on
beating
someone
into
submission
over
a
technicality
or
policy,
the
actual
business
objective
often
gets
lost
in
the
noise.
The
urge
to
beat
someone
in
the
moment
is
seductive.
It
feels
like
control.
It
feels
like
validation.
It
feels
like
being
the
smartest
person
in
the
room.
The
problem
is
beating
someone
rarely
gets
the
in-house
lawyer
what
is
needed
to
be
successful
–
influence,
trust,
and
the
power
to
shape
the
business
in
meaningful
ways
over
time.
Winning
The
Long
Game
So,
how
do
you
shift
from
a
“beat
them”
mindset
to
a
“win
the
long
game”
approach?
It
requires
a
conscious
pivot
from
short-term
validation
to
long-term
impact.
Here
are
three
strategies
Josh
uses
to
stay
grounded
when
the
temptation
to
win
the
argument
feels
overwhelming.
1.
Ask
Yourself:
Does
This
Really
Matter?
Lawyers
love
to
argue
every
point,
but
not
every
point
is
a
hill
worth
dying
on.
Before
escalating
an
issue
or
digging
in,
trying
pausing
and
asking:
What’s
the
real
business
impact
of
letting
this
go?
Is
this
a
material
risk,
or
is
it
more
about
me
proving
a
point?
Most
of
the
time,
personal
capital
is
better
spent
on
battles
that
move
the
business
forward,
not
on
scoring
points
that
feel
good,
but
burn
trust.
2.
Lead
With
Questions,
Not
Conclusions
When
you
feel
the
urge
to
correct
or
challenge,
flip
the
script.
Ask
questions
that
invite
dialogue
rather
than
deliver
judgment.
Instead
of,
“This
is
wrong,”
try:
“I
might
be
missing
something
here
—
can
you
walk
me
through
how
this
approach
would
address
X,
Y,
and
Z?”
Curiosity
keeps
people
in
the
conversation.
Criticism
shuts
it
down.
And
the
more
you
invite
people
to
think
critically
themselves,
the
less
you
need
to
do
it
for
them.
3.
Chase
results,
not
recognition
Some
in-house
lawyers
love
being
recognized
as
the
hero
who
saves
the
day.
If
you
chase
that
recognition,
you
will
often
find
yourself
alienating
the
very
people
whose
support
you
need.
The
people
who
actually
win?
They
focus
on
delivering
outcomes.
They
bring
people
along
with
them.
They
create
space
for
others
to
contribute.
And
ironically,
those
are
the
people
who
end
up
with
the
influence
and
recognition
they
weren’t
chasing
it
in
the
first
place.
Don’t
Be
That
Lawyer
We
all
know
those
in-house
lawyers
who
wins
argument,
but
loses
relationships.
They
get
the
clause
in
the
contract
but
lose
the
chance
to
be
part
of
the
bigger
deal.
They
win
the
policy
debate
but
they
get
sidelined
when
the
next
issue
arises.
Don’t
be
that
lawyer.
The
next
time
you
feel
the
pull
to
prove
you
are
right,
ask
yourself
this:
Am
I
trying
to
beat
them?
Or
am
I
trying
to
win?
The
best
lawyers
I
know
choose
to
win
and
they
do
it
by
playing
the
long
game.
Lisa
Lang
is
an
accomplished
in-house
lawyer
and
thought
leader
dedicated
to
empowering
fellow
legal
professionals. She
offers
insights
and
resources
tailored
for
in-house
counsel
through
her
website
and
blog,
Why
This,
Not
That™
(www.lawyerlisalang.com).
Lisa
actively
engages
with
the
legal
community
via
LinkedIn,
sharing
her
expertise
and
fostering
meaningful
connections.
You
can
reach
her
at
[email protected],
connect
on
LinkedIn
(https://www.linkedin.com/in/lawyerlisalang/).
Joshua
Horenstein
has
an
extensive
background
in
executive
leadership
and
HR/legal/facilities/regulatory
management. He
is
Senior
Vice
President,
Chief
Legal
Officer
and
Chief
Human
Resources
Officer
at
Innophos
Holdings,
Inc.,
an
international
specialty
ingredient
and
chemical
manufacturer.
At
Innophos,
Josh
is
responsible
for
all
human
resources,
legal,
corporate
facilities
and
regulatory
matters
worldwide
for
the
company.
Prior
to
joining
Innophos,
Josh
practiced
law
at
several
leading
law
firms
in
the
Philadelphia
metro
area
and
was
Vice
President
and
Chief
Legal
Officer
at
Rock
Your
Phone,
Inc.