For
years,
I
dreaded
public
speaking.
Not
just
speaking
in
front
of
large
audiences,
but
also
in
front
of
small
ones.
In
fact,
I
hated
any
social
setting
where
I
had
to
interact
with
anybody.
You
know
that
icebreaker
when
you
go
around
the
room
and
you
introduce
yourself
and
say
something
interesting
or
funny
about
yourself?
That
would
send
me
into
a
full-fledged
panic
attack.
I
realized,
as
a
litigator
and,
more
importantly,
as
a
trial
lawyer,
that
I
had
to
overcome
my
fear
of
interacting
with
others
and
learn
to
communicate
in
all
public
settings.
Before
I
describe
my
approach
on
how
I
went
from
then
to
now,
let’s
briefly
discuss
behavioral
modification.
Let’s
assume
you’re
afraid
of
spiders.
You
see
a
behavioral
psychologist,
and
you
tell
her
that
you
want
to
overcome
your
fear
of
spiders
(arachnophobia).
The
psychologist
will
guide
you
through
a
series
of
steps,
where
in
each
step,
you
will
have
increasing
exposure
to
your
fear
until
you
learn
to
live
with
it
or
overcome
it.
During
your
first
session
with
the
psychologist,
she
may
show
you
a
book
with
a
photo
of
a
spider.
The
following
week,
she
may
pull
up
a
video
on
her
laptop
for
you
to
watch
a
spider.
The
following
week,
the
psychologist
may
ask
you
to
visit
a
local
pet
store
and
observe
a
spider
in
a
glass
cage.
The
following
week,
the
psychologist
may
bring
a
spider
in
a
container
for
you
to
look
at.
The
following
week,
the
psychologist
may
open
the
container
and
ask
you
to
take
a
close
look
inside.
And
the
week
after,
the
psychologist
may
pick
up
the
spider
and
put
it
in
your
hand.
The
following
week,
the
psychologist
may
ask
you
to
buy
a
spider
as
a
pet
and
keep
it
at
home.
The
idea
behind
this
approach
is
that
each
successive
week,
you
are
exposed
to
the
next
level
or
layer,
getting
closer
to
the
thing
you
fear,
and
dealing
with
it
more
directly
until
you
can
confront
it
or
the
fear
dissipates.
The
same
approach
applies
to
public
speaking.
I
used
this
method
when
I
transitioned
from
being
terrified
of
any
social
interaction
to
confidently
speaking
in
front
of
hundreds
of
people
every
week.
This
transformation
is
a
testament
to
the
power
of
incremental
steps
in
overcoming
fear.
I
started
my
journey
in
public
speaking
with
private
setting
opportunities
–
namely,
meeting
someone
for
coffee.
I
had
multiple
coffee
meetings
over
the
course
of
a
year
before
I
started
volunteering
to
speak
publicly.
This
one-on-one
session
helped
me
become
comfortable
sitting
across
from
someone,
engaging
in
conversation,
learning
about
and
appreciating
body
language,
and
improving
my
overall
communication
skills.
From
there,
I
started
doing
webinars.
I
could
do
them
in
the
privacy
of
my
own
office,
and
I
didn’t
have
to
stand
in
front
of
an
audience.
I
could
rely
on
PowerPoint
or
notes
without
the
audience
appreciating
that
I
was
doing
just
that.
I
graduated
from
webinars.
I
started
doing
podcast
interviews,
where
I
was
the
guest
of
honor.
It
was
generally
casual,
didn’t
require
much
preparation,
and
it
got
me
used
to
speaking
in
the
setting,
which
would
be
recorded
and
then
heard
by
others.
And
then
I
started
doing
presentations
in
small
settings
in
front
of
groups
that
I
considered
safe.
In
front
of
my
church,
Sunday
school
classes,
and
other
groups,
where
it
didn’t
really
matter
how
I
looked
or
how
I
came
across
–
these
were
safe
spaces.
And
then
I
started
giving
presentations,
where
I
moderated
the
panel,
which
relieved
some
of
the
pressure.
I
eventually
became
a
panelist
on
a
panel
and
then
a
solo
speaker
to
the
audience.
And
then
I
started
giving
numerous
presentations,
where
I
would
speak
to
dozens,
then
hundreds,
of
people
as
a
keynote
speaker,
often
for
over
an
hour,
two
hours,
or
even
three
hours.
Today,
I
have
delivered
over
500
presentations,
both
virtually
and
in
person,
hosted
over
100
webinars,
and
been
a
guest
on
more
than
100
additional
webinars.
And
it
all
started
with
just
having
coffee
with
someone.
So,
whatever
fear
you
have,
whether
it’s
public
speaking
or
something
else,
start
on
the
periphery
of
that
fear
and
work
your
way
towards
the
heart
of
it,
tackling
it
one
step
at
a
time.
As
you
progress,
you’ll
move
further
into
the
fear
and
closer
to
its
center,
taking
on
the
fear
head-on.
That’s
how
you
overcome
every
fear.
Remember,
overcoming
a
phobia
is
like
eating
an
elephant,
one
bite
at
a
time.
Start
with
the
easiest
aspects
of
the
phobia
and
progressively
work
towards
the
more
challenging
elements.
Eventually,
you’ll
learn
to
live
with
fear
or
overcome
it,
and
either
way,
you’ll
be
in
control
and
closer
to
where
you
want
to
be.
Frank
Ramos
is
a
partner
at
Goldberg
Segalla
in
Miami,
where
he
practices
commercial
litigation,
products,
and
catastrophic
personal
injury. You
can
follow
him
on LinkedIn,
where
he
has
about
80,000
followers.